Two-and-a-half years after my mother died I took her to India. Not all of her--just enough to fill one quarter of a sandwich-size zip-lock bag. Any more than that and I feared getting stopped at airport security, accused of carrying gunpowder in my carry-on. Just in case, I brought along the official crematorium certificate.

DSC00109.jpgMy mother wanted to be cremated. But even though she had strong opinions about almost everything, she said she didn't care what we did with her ashes. Lacking instructions, I put Mom's "cremains" on a shelf in my office, which is where they stayed until I joined my partner in December 2006 on a business trip to New Delhi and a three-week tour of Northern India's major cities and cultural sites. My mom would be going with us to Varanasi--the Hindu city of the dead.

Continue reading "Taking Mom to India" »

I was halfway through writing the previous post when I came across something that made me realize this would be a two-part deal. That's when I cut the post short and wrote:

The last time we visited Parker's pre-school, one of teachers said she remembered when we came there with Parker as an infant. She remarked about how well Parker has grown up, and was happy to see that we are raising Dylan too. I think I know what she sees when she looks at our family now. She sees a family with two devoted parents, and two thriving children. What other people see, I can only imagine. And I can only wish I didn't have to care.


But it's obvious that I do have to care.

Continue reading "Poisonous Parenting: Confused, Pt. 2" »

Editor's Note: You've seen Steven Colbert's "Better Know a Lobbyist," but our version is so much gayer! Each weekend, we spotlight a different TBP contributor. In case you've missed any of our previous interviews, I've got links at the end of the post.

This week the spotlight is on Jessica Hoffmann. Jessica is an LA-based writer, editor, and activist. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, including Kitchen Sink, The NewStandard, Social Policy, Bitch, elimae, Watchword, and the anthologies We Don't Need Another Wave: Dispatches from the Next Generation of Feminists and Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity. Jessica is a member of the editorial and publishing collective behind make/shift, a new magazine documenting contemporary feminist culture and activism.

It was nice of Jessica to take some time out of her crazy schedule to answer my questions.

Continue reading "Better Know a Contributor: Jessica Hoffmann" »

Six years ago Jerame and I made a vow to improve our lives. First he'd go to college and then I would. Today, he graduates. He held up his end of the bargain; I've never been prouder of him than I am today.


16133-graduation.jpg

Editor's Note: Zythyra is an acoustic musician, writer and activist who lives in rural NH. Zie has had considerable practice over the past few years trying to construct sentences without using any gender pronouns.

Zmando-edited.jpgWhat is an androgyne anyway? If you've been hanging around the transgender community for a while, you've probably noticed some other people near the fringes. This post is an exploration of the non- binary gender space that I and others live in, so you can get to know us a little better.

First, a little background. In 1993 I realized myself as being transgender, and transitioned from male to female. I found a therapist, changed my name, and did what is called the Real Life Test (RLT) for over a year. While I was truly happier living as a woman, I came to the conclusion that although I definitely wasn't a man, this didn't necessarily mean that I was a woman either. I felt somewhere in between.

Continue reading "What is an androgyne anyway?" »

A friend sent this video to me of a mother speaking about her kids coming out. It's an honest discussion of what many mothers go through and seemed extremely appropriate for Mother's Day.


iPhone users: Click to watch

More video after the jump...

Continue reading "Mother's Day Open Thread" »

Editor's Note: Here are the rules for Songs for Sunday: one of our contributors will post the last ten songs from their iPod, then you share yours in the comments so we can compare! Let's play!

1. Free To Decide - The Cranberries
2. Faust Arp - Radiohead
3. Unwell - Matchbox Twenty
4. Someday - Nickelback
5. Homesick - Train
6. Up On The Ladder - Radiohead
7. Downfall - Matchbox Twenty
8. It Can't Come Quickly Enough - Scissor Sisters
9. Eleanor - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
10. Tommorow - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Some Me First and the Gimme Gimmes covering the Dixie Chicks punk rock style after the jump.

Continue reading "The AlternaPunk Songs for Sunday" »

Last week's sexy party was so much fun, that I just HAD to do it again!

Monday
Uh Oh - Mercedes Allen (by far the most controversial post of the week)
Mildred Loving of Loving v. Virgina Passes Away - Pam Spaulding

Tuesday
John McCain: Pandertactics as Usual - Waymon Hudson
Eight Belles: Emotion v. Common Sense - Patricia Nell Warren

Wednesday
Would Somebody Please Think of the Children - Alex Blaze
Michigan Supreme Court - "No Benefits for Gay Partners" - Waymon Hudson

Thursday
I'm Not Out. But Ya Know, They Know. - Eric Levin
More on Michigan Marriage Ruling - Ellen Andersen

Friday
Lawrence King Deserved to Die - Sara Whitman
Has Hillary Clinton Lost Her Damn Mind? - Michael Crawford

Check out the sexy party video action after the jump!

Continue reading "Sexy Party - The Next Episode" »

I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole yesterday. During a (rare) quiet moment, I took some time to catch up on my news/blog reading. And I finally started reading a collection of news stories that I'd quietly tucked away until I could actually bring myself to read them. I thought that would be a long time, because they were the kind of stories that I usually put out of my mind, because I can't bear to think about them.

What started me was Katharine's comment, which linked to Scott's post about something Felix Fritzl said upon seeing the moon for the first time.

"Is that God up there?" - Felix Fritzl, 5, sees the moon for the first time since leaving the cellar.

And so it began.

Continue reading "Poisonous Parenting: Confused, Pt. 1" »

It's Saturday. I'm feeling Spring Fever. Tomorrow is Jerame's college graduation so there's a lot to do. Linkage only today.

Hey Ya'll!

This week's open thread is about gay cult classics. When I was in high school, I used to watch "To Wong Fu" religiously (still do). There was just something about those drag queens that I connected with on a very visceral level. Until Ellen came out of the closet, it was the only connection I had to the queer community. When I told Waymon I was gonna give a shout out to my gals from TWF, he told me I had to promise to include a tribute to our hunk Patrick Swayze. And while everyone knows that Miss Noxema Jackson (Jessie's daughter) was the best drag queen of the trio, I did appreciate Swayze in "Dirty Dancing." Because hey . . . "nobody puts baby in a corner!"

How about you? What are your favorite gay cult classics? I'll give you some more of mine after the jump. You can leave yours in the comments.

Continue reading "Gay Cult Classics Open Thread" »

A new study shows what we all know here on the Project- we are more connected to online blogs, news, and technology.

The study shows gay and lesbian adults are more active within blog channels than heterosexuals and more receptive to blog advertising:

According to a recent national survey conducted by Harris Interactive®, gay and lesbian adults online are reading more blogs than their heterosexual counterparts. When asked, just over half of the gay and lesbian respondents reported reading some type of blog, compared to 36 percent of heterosexual adults.

Continue reading "You are a statistic RIGHT NOW" »

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