Bil Browning

STD Warning

Filed By Bil Browning | April 15, 2006 6:26 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment
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The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.

Cognitive characteristics of the individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalist and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.



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