From the ex-wife of an ex-gay survivor at Ex-Gay Watch:
At group, the guys would gather around one member, lift them up, and hold and rock them. All the guys I heard speak of this, including Tdub, found it to be an extremely comforting and affirming activity. For Tdub, and I'm relating things he's shared with me, this activity did provide him with a feeling of safety and security that he'd never experienced. It was supposed to provide (as best I can gather from all I've heard and been told about it) what many men, like Tdub, never received and always longed for from their fathers. Over the course of the time we were involved with the therapy and the social group surrounding it, I overheard many positive comments about this experience.You learn something new every day. I had seen that Richard Cohen use that technique on CNN and The Daily Show, but I just thought he was some sort of kook. Now I can see why affection-starved gay men with low self-esteem would just love being held by other men.
I too have experienced that feeling of safety and security when cuddling. But unlike Richard Cohen, I had the sanity to know where that feeling was coming from and that it had nothing to do with my father.








In case no one has noticed, this technique also works with cats. I cuddled with my fuzz-kitty for almost an hour this morning, and it might have been the high point of my day.
A. J. Lopp | May 8, 2007 4:43 PM
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