I've noticed of late that on this site Bil Browning has been having Coffee and Toast with an increasing number of people, from Chris Matthews to Tammy Faye Messner to Albert Einstein, and even the Westboro Baptist Church. Now I have to admit that breaking bread with Fred Phelps' Topeka congregation isn't my cup of tea, let alone coffee. Those folks just don't seem the type to have a leisurely early morning chat with at the local Bob Evans. They probably don't tip very well, either. Something about Leviticus. (See also GodHatesGratuities.com.)
Anyway, I've decided that if Bil Browning can do it, so can I. So from time to time I'm going to have Decaf and English Muffin with folks I find interesting and with whom I would have Coffee and Toast except that Bil gets livid over plagiarism.
I haven't yet quite decided who should be first on my list. I had thought about some of the lesser-ranked Presidential candidates in both parties, but I'm not sure if Dennis Kucinich likes English Muffins. Or if Mitt Romney likes Decaf. Come to think of it, I'm not really even sure that Dennis Kucinich likes Mitt Romney, or conversely. Better leave that one alone until the New Hampshire primary.......I think they've moved it up to Labor Day.
You know, the more I think about it, I may be getting in over my head here. How do I find out about the jam, jelly, and/or preserve preferences of my would-be-guests? Maybe I should just stick to butter.....or is it margarine? Maybe just dry is the safest way to go, but that seems a bit stingy, don't you think? Browning must have the same problem with what to put on his toast......maybe he'll post a comment. And speaking of "browning", how long should I leave the muffin in the toaster? This is getting really complicated.
Hmmm.....I wonder if Rudy Giuliani likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Maybe with orange juice? Let me get back with you on that one.