Last Tuesday fellow contributor Alex Blaze was critical of a study of what may well prove to rival Al Gore in terms of exposing another Inconvenient Truth: If you're gay or lesbian your hair is likely to go around the top of your head counterclockwise. If you're straight, it's literally the other way around.
The concept has me in a bit of a panic mode, because for a couple of decades now when I look into my morning mirror I see nothing but smooth shiny skin from above my eyebrows to over the horizon. Anything indicating clockwise, counterclockwise, or otherwise has long sank into the gray matter below. For many years my mother kept a daily diary of my growing up, and I've searched it in vain for any clue as to the direction my one-time locks curved. I've looked in albums for pictures taken from above and behind.....nothing there. So far as I know nobody has been stalking me with a camera so that's a dead end, too. I guess I'll just have to go through the rest of my life never really knowing the true nature of my whorl. Does that make me an asexual agnostic? Is the absence of evidence of a whorl evidence of its absence?
Alex pooh-poos the notion that there could be any correlation between hair whorl direction and sexual orientation. Since he's been trained in biology, I'll defer to his expertise, but secretly I'm not all that certain. I'm not a meteorologist (although I did stay at a Holiday Inn watching the Weather Channel last night) but I do recall something about winds moving clockwise around an area of high pressure but the other way around a depression area. At least in the northern hemisphere. Down under it's just the reverse. Has anybody studied depressed gay men from Australia deplaning in Los Angeles? If not, I'll bet the government has some grant money lying around somewhere. Then we'd know for sure.
Maybe Bilerico could take a survey on readership as to the distribution of hair whorl direction. If so, I hope he doesn't forget to include a choice for the "have nots" like me.