Fannie Fierce

Frisky Fantasies and Vanilla relationships

Filed By Fannie Fierce | September 22, 2007 9:45 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
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The question answered this week is a little on the frisky side aka possibly NSFW.

This week, A "bi-curious" guy reveals his frisky fetish and bemoans his current vanilla relationship. The rest of the post is after the jump.

Hey Fannie,

I'm new to the site and thought I throw a question your way. I'm a 24 year old bi-curious male and I've been dating this girl for a while. She's awesome but the other day I had this dream where I was getting fisted by some dude and it was pretty hot. I've experimented with some objects when I beat off but I feel like I might be stuck in a situation that won't let me get into anything extreme. What should I do?

--Fervently Inquiring into Sexual Thrill


So, FIST, you're intrigued by the mysterious and marvelous world of fisting, but you're afraid that the miss isn't too keen on having her hand up your love chute. I don't know how long you have been together, the nature of your sex lives, or if your fisting fantasies are exclusively with men; but I assume you have toyed with the thought of your girlfriend fisting you. If she is as "awesome" as you say, give her a little credit. If she really is into you, a little fisting fantasy is hardly worth running to the hills over.

I understand that it can be difficult to bring up ass play as a straight male in a heterosexual relationship. Anal stimulation has long been equated with emasculation and homosexuality; man's ultimate doom! But the best way to bring up a fantasy with a significant other is to not treat it like it's a big deal. The more anxiety and hesitation you demonstrate while telling your girlfriend, the more reason you give her to think that your fantasy is one spot shy of Dante’s Inferno.

Try to gradually introduce ass play in your sexual relationship. Asking her to massage your anus while you hook up, can help clue her in on and warm up to your fantasy. In any sexual relationship, it's important to maintain clear communication lines. Asking your lover to give you pleasure is not overstepping. I firmly believer in Dan Savage's "GGG": that in sexual relationships we should all strive to be good, giving, and game with our lovers: “'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.’”

Now, if your fantasy fist-fucking desperately requires a man, then we’ve got a bit of a stickier situation (please ignore the double entendre). While I am in full support of careful and thoughtful non-monogamy, I hesitate advising you to find a part-time friendly fantasy fisting fellow. If you can manage it and your girlfriend is cool with the idea of another man’s hand in your rectum, then more power to you. But, your fantasy is just that… a fantasy; a hot, steamy, sexy fantasy for sure, but a fantasy none the less.

If you can’t get your specific fantasy of getting fist fucked by your dream guy… tough. I'm highly doubtful that I'm going to get my twin fantasy sated any time soon. It’s hardly worth breaking up with a girlfriend over, especially if you can convince her to incorporate fucking your ass sore. If you still find your fantasy over-powering all your emotions and desires for your girlfriend and all her awesomeness, then I might take another look at that "curious" suffix.

Then again, there’s always this. Thank God, for American consumerism.

++
fiercely,
fannie

Send your questions to fannie@bilerico.com
You can read the rest of fannie's column at www.belowthebelt.org


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