Waymon Hudson

Smile, You’re Having Sex on Camera!

Filed By Waymon Hudson | November 19, 2007 1:36 PM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: beaches, Florida, Jim Naugle, public sex

In what can only be described as more of Florida’s obsession with gay sex, officials in Martin County are looking into putting motion-activated cameras on beaches to deter “men soliciting men for sex”. The cameras sense motion and flash a bright light (I would assume to get a better money shot…). They then issue a pre-recorded verbal warning to let people know they are under surveillance, and, sixty seconds later, start recording.

Like toilet-obsessed Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle, the reason given for investing in this expensive technology (around $5,500 per camera, plus thousands more in wiring, manpower, and monitoring costs) by officials was solely men having sex with men.

That’s right, folks. It seems only gay men ever get frisky on the beach.

Never mind the fact that on any given evening on the beach, straight couples can be found getting down and dirty in the sand. Heck, the commercials and ads for the beaches here even show these cute couples cuddling or making-out on the beach. But of course, straight sex in public is romantic and fun. Two men? Call in the cops and lock the perverts up. Just make sure you get a hot video first.

So next time you come down to Florida, make sure be camera ready. Or at least bring a lighting crew with you to make sure they get your best side…


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Brynn Craffey Brynn Craffey | November 19, 2007 3:32 PM

Ah, don't ya love it: no money for public healthcare, daycare and schools, bridges and infrastructure, homelessness, veterans' many needs, etc. etc. but there's always money for WAR, be it the war on Iraq, the war on drugs, or the increasingly popular (in America) war on non-procreative sex.

It's truly insane.

So womyn won't get caught having sex in public on tape? That's gender discrimination! I want my 15 minutes, too, damnit!

I agree, Brynn. At a time when the budget here in Florida (and everywhere else, for that matter) is shrinking, this is what our politicians focus on. Absolute insanity.

And a woman having public sex isn’t a crime, Serena. It's "hot." I'm sure those tapes will get kept for "further review" by the public officials. Now those degenerate gay men, on the other hand, that's just gross…

Now make no mistake, I’m not pro-public sex (especially at the beach, where sand gets in all the wrong places), but it is infuriating when gay men are used as scapegoats or singled out for something that is done by lots of people, especially straight people.

Brynn Craffey Brynn Craffey | November 19, 2007 3:58 PM

Serena, I'm with you on the equality issue. But be careful what you wish for. Straight men, who still make up the bulk of police forces, (at least pretend to) regard gay male sex as an anathema. Two women together, though? That's another thing. And maybe not the sort of exhibitionism you'd be interested in.

Hey guys, don't worry, these beach-cams will be very easy to out-smart: Just lay perfectly still while you are having sex.

I find a man like that every once in a while. (Am I supposed to complain or something?)

LOL... I think we used to date the same men, AJ.

It makes you wonder, though. If the cameras are motion sensitive, then what happens to all the people on the beach that are jogging, or just relaxing? Does the sexual Gestapo light shine on them as well? Will birds set it off? Will the beach just turn into some kind of disco with security lights flashing on and off?

If so, I think that would attract more gay men then it would scare off. I can see it now, "After hours at the beach, best light show in town... And watch the live video feed from home!"

Fierce.

Just what I was thinking, Waymon. What about all those other things that move on the beach? Something tells me they didn't plan this out very well.

Hahaha, Allen, been there, done bois like that.

And I'm totally pro public sex if it's done in an appropriate setting. There's just something about the great outdoors or having the ocean right behind you.... Oh, wait, I've never had the privilege.

How very "From Here to Eternity" of you, Alex…

What exactly is an "appropriate setting" for public sex, by the way? :)

Your comment made me think this as well: If people like the excitement of public sex, wouldn't the idea of being recorded just turn them on and encourage them more? Throw in the spotlight and some recording announcing you were doing it and it sounds like a wet dream to outdoor enthusiasts...

The appropriate setting would be anywhere, really, that's set up so that people who don't want to see the sex will know to avoid that area. (Maybe I'm conflating "outdoor sex" with "public sex".... Hmmmmmm.....)

I wonder. Amateur porn stars will set up camp in front of the cameras, begging for attention. And maybe, just maybe, thirty years from now one of us will be reading a biography entitled From Martin County to Hollywood: How my acting was discovered on a lonely Florida beach.

The last thing we need here in South Florida are more amateur porn stars (although I do love the biography title...). You can’t throw a rock around here without hitting the back of some guy’s head who’s shooting a “hot new video.”

And to clarify my stance (and it's a wide one) on public sex, I'm not so into it. I've walked in on way too many people joining "the mile high club" back when I was a flight attendant. And trust me, they are never the people you would enjoy watching have sex.

Never.

Just to clarify . . . Total sarcasm on my part . . . as for public sex, oh so hot. But I agree with Waymon. Hot people only. Ugly folks should keep it to themselves.

LOL...

And once again ugly-phobia rears its ugly head...

No worries, Serena. I've already dispatched Martin County officials and Mayor Naugle to your home to set up cameras so you don't feel left out. The spotlight, robotic toilet, recorded voice and live feed should start as soon as engage in immoral behavior and set the sensors off. Get ready for your 15 minutes of fame! ;)

Hate to tell you this, guys, because I am showing my age: But one's idea of "ugly" tends to change as one ages. Men I once thought were "grossly obese" are now simply "bears" to me. I think unless Godzilla was humping the Creature from The Black Lagoon, I'd probably watch.

Come to think of it, I'd probably watch that, too, not because it would be sexy, but because it would be so bizarre ... have you ever watched two Hawaiian geckos mate? They're so gross it is immensely entertaining. And they stink, too.

Wow, AJ...

I applaud your courage to speak openly about your apparent reptile fetish. With the motion sensitive cameras that were mentioned in the post, I’m sure there will be lots of video of lizard-on-lizard action (as well as other wildlife photos, since animals are the majority of what will be moving on the beach in the middle of the night) for you to watch...

Keep a look out for the hot sea-turtles-laying-eggs video that will be sure to emerge from this ridiculous waste of tax-payer money…

I had no plans for meeting up with a guy but when I saw his 10 inches dangling down in front of my face my mouth began to water. "mmmmmmm let me eat that cock, is all I could say"