When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
Billy sprang out of bed to see what was the matter
There stood a snowman, tattooed and mean
"Who were you expecting?" he shouted. "Frosty? That Dairy Queen?"
I've brought your dad sex toys and mom some bling bling,
Now stop touching me there and go fetch my cock ring."
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17 Comments
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Into something that even rhymes with M&M, this snowman prefers to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
After quickly forcing you to your knees ... right, Alex?
A. J. Lopp | December 17, 2007 10:28 AM
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OMG!
Serena Freewomyn | December 17, 2007 11:37 AM
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Wait a minute! I met him at Pride this summer! Take a look!
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2144/2118015709_e381b3be95_m.jpg
Annette | December 17, 2007 3:28 PM
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The Sequel of the Year: Jack Frost II, starring John Oates as some upper-middle-class boy's dear, deceased Uncle Roscoe!
(One particular 'marital aid' of his comes back as a sassy, smack-talking raspberry sno-cone.)
N. A. Langewis | December 17, 2007 5:47 PM
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That's disgusting. Pedophilia is never funny. IMO, this cartoon is below Bilerico standards.
Marti Abernathey | December 17, 2007 5:56 PM
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How is it pedophilia if the kid's not being harmed? Isn't the cartoon poking fun at all the hype about Santa as an "innocent" childhood icon? And this is not being circulated in a classroom but on a website devoted to the LGBTQ community, yes? There are pleny of such Santas around at this time of year and surely adults are allowed to have their own "in" jokes.
Yasmin Nair | December 17, 2007 7:43 PM
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He's saying don't touch me, and go get my cock ring? There are enough people in this world that are trying to hang the pedophile label on us, without us doing it to ourself.
Marti Abernathey | December 17, 2007 8:06 PM
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Wow, Marti. Wasn't even thinking anything about pedophiles. Maybe it's because I wrote it in verse...
I meant the cock ring was mom's gift of bling. The snowman would be using it with the sex toys on mom and dad - not the kid! Yikes.
Since the toon originally was meant to be the kid building the snowman, I even put in the "Don't touch me there." :) That's the opposite of pedophilia.
Bil Browning | December 17, 2007 8:23 PM
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Oh, pull...eee...ah...zzz...
Folks, this is zany humor, don't take it so seriously!
As I see it, this cartoon is more about childhood sexual precociousness than it is about pedophilia --- do any of us know any children precocious enough and mischievous enough to build an S&M snowman? In today's world I'd bet "Yes!" --- and as Bil points out, it's the little boy "making" (pun intended) the inanimate snowman, not the other way around.
Perhaps we should accuse Star Wars movies of promoting bestiality ... after all, in a galaxy so far, far away, Han Solo has to have gotten it on with Chewbacca at least once ... ( * eyes roll * )
A. J. Lopp | December 18, 2007 9:54 AM
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Zany humor? Cock rings and children...wow that's comedy! Unless I missed the part where Chewbacca asked Han Solo for a cock ring, I think your comparison falls short.
Marti Abernathey | December 18, 2007 10:11 AM
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Although I see Marti's point (and I'm certainly not trying to devalue anyone's feelings), I thought the post was meant to be humorous. I guess having a bawdy sense of humor isn't always in good taste.
I think Santa is creepy all around. When I see parents lined up at the mall to let their kids sit on some strange man's lap, I think the kids who cry about it are right on. Santa's creepy in his red suit. But a leather daddy Santa? That's a little more up my alley.
Serena Freewomyn | December 18, 2007 10:47 AM
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Where is his carrot ?? OH MY GAWD
Danielle Clarke | December 18, 2007 12:49 PM
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I didn't mean to be devaluing anyone's feelings, either, and my sarcasm was not intended in any meanspirited way.
I doubt that we will ever arrive at all the "right" answers over matters of political correctness --- our society has never come up with a definitive rule about whether black comedians can use the n-word in their stand-up routines --- and in the meantime I can only assume that one person's way of looking at it is just as valid as another's.
A. J. Lopp | December 18, 2007 8:11 PM
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OK, folks, I finally figured it out! ...
This cartoon is not about S&M, nor is it about pedophilia ... it's about 70's disco music!
After the little boy is done building the leatherman snowman, he's going to build ...
... a cowboy snowman ... and then ...
... an Indian snowman ... and then ...
... a construction worker snowman ... and then ...
... a Black motorcycle cop snowman ... and then ...
A. J. Lopp | December 18, 2007 11:58 PM
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... or maybe I'm wrong ... maybe the little boy is a nascent drama queen about to bloom ... maybe it's about late 1960's gay theatre:
( * the scene went something like this, as I remember: * )
EMORY: My lip! He hit my lip! Oh, I'm bleeding!
DONALD: Here! Put this ice cube on it!
( later )
LARRY: Now ... how is that lip doing?
EMORY: Is it swelling?
LARRY: No, but it's turning blue ...
DONALD: You look like you've been rimming a snowman!
[ * apologies to Mort Crowley * ]
A. J. Lopp | December 19, 2007 12:25 AM
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OMG, AJ. Too funny!
Serena Freewomyn | December 19, 2007 1:34 PM
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Too funny, eh? ... Well, perhaps it's time for this thread to disappear into the archives with all my other bombing stand-up routines ...
A. J. Lopp | December 19, 2007 9:37 PM
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