Jean Mansel's Jesus statue has been stolen and is being held for ransom. An unknown neighbor made off with the 80 pound Christ because Mansel doesn't clean up after her four wiener dogs and left a ransom note in the mailbox. The note demands she clean up the befouled neighborhood to secure the statue's release. It's a complete howler and obviously written by a kid. (Text is after the jump.)
The best part? The woman's plea for Jesus to return unharmed. What's she going to do if he shows up 3 days from now with holes in his hands and feet and scratch marks on his forehead?
Is it sacrilegious to point out that apparently in Michigan the son of God is only worth a bag of dog shit? I don't know about you, but if I'd kidnapped Christ I'd ask for more - at least 30 pieces of silver.
“We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”
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3 Comments
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This shows a lack of creativity and the fact these kidnappers would break the law shows thy have the depth of a puddle...
Okay Guys here is what you do.
Video tape her not cleaning up after her dogs.
Post the video on YouTube and place posters up everywhere with a picture of her, her dogs and the droppings.
You get a lot further with humiliation then you ever will with simple theft.
People really dumbed down these days arn't they.
Too much Fluoride in the water i guess.
Take care
Sue
Sue Robins | January 19, 2008 2:11 PM
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OMG! This is fucking awesome!
Serena Freewomyn | January 20, 2008 11:54 AM
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Great story, Bil, but poor reporting ... where the heck is this statue located? (Or was located?) WTF is "Lindy Lane"? The statue seems familiar, although many lesser sculptors have used this understated art decco style, and Jesus standing in the shape of a cross is not exactly original.
(Sorry, I can't check out TV news video ... same ol' story, dial-up line ...)
But Poodle Poopie for Jesus is not such a terrible notion --- you know that on Judgment Day, Jesus might indeed possibly say, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, all ye who have picked up your Poodle poopie in consideration for the least of these my brethren, ye have picked up Poodle poopie for me."
A. J. Lopp | January 20, 2008 12:33 PM
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