Finally get it! Finally I understand why – without a hint of irony, without so much as a twinkle in their eye – Republicans can still claim to be the party of limited government and fiscal and personal responsibility! They're drunk!
Don’t take my word for it. Let Robert M. “Mike” Duncan, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, tell you himself as he pushes “Maxine” – their lovely new plush toy Pink Elephant gift – for a “special contribution” of $35.
Here's Mr. Duncan's email:
Meet Maxine, the newest member of the Republican National Committee.
Embroidered with the official logo of the RNC, Maxine proudly shows off her allegiance to the Republican Party's principles of lower taxes, a strong national defense, limited government and personal responsibility.
Maxine is a wonderful plush toy available for a limited time to our most loyal supporters like you. She is sure to be snapped up quickly. With Valentine's Day right around the corner, Maxine makes a great gift for that special Republican in your life.
Karen, we'll send you Maxine today with your special contribution of at least $35.
Your contribution will immediately be put to work. The RNC is leading the way to ensure our Republican candidates have the early resources they need to build strong, effective campaigns to defeat the Democrats this November.
And for a very limited time, you can still get Max the elephant with a special contribution to the RNC. Click here to order both Maxine and Max today.
I hope you will take advantage of this special offer. Thank you for your continuing commitment to our Party and our cause this critical election year.
Robert M. "Mike" Duncan?Chairman, Republican National Committee
I guess Mr. Duncan has never heard that “pink elephant” is often used to describe the hallucination a drunk might see (a favorite image in old cartoons) or even the milder “elephant in the room” to describe a state of denial or as Wikipedia puts it, “an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. It is based on the idea that an elephant in a small room would be impossible to overlook.”
Yup - $35 to enable the RNC in its drunken quest to pillage the nation’s treasury – both human and monetary – while until recently Congressional Democrats seemed to cower in anticipation of some spewed out crap that invariably resulted in a debate over who loves Jesus more.
Let’s look at some numbers:
- As of Jan. 28: 3,940 U.S. Deaths in Iraq.
- Estimated Iraq civilian dead: between 80,690 and 88,117
- Cost of the War: $489, 847, 000, 000+
- National Debt: $9,208,035,602,282.28. According to the U.S. National Debt Clock, the National Debt has continued to increase an average of $1.44 billion per day since Sept. 29, 2006!
- U.S. Trade Deficit: $55,610,000,000.00+
And while mainstream reporters and pundits parse the rehash of seven years of State of the Union addresses by the dry drunk known as the President of the United States, almost no one picked up on Bush’s shameful reference to Katrina:
Tonight the armies of compassion continue the march to a new day in the Gulf Coast. America honors the strength and resilience of the people of this region. We reaffirm our pledge to help them build stronger and better than before. And tonight I'm pleased to announce that in April we will host this year's North American Summit of Canada, Mexico, and the United States in the great city of New Orleans. (Applause.)
Let’s see. By “armies of compassion,” would Bush be referring to Brad Pitt and Oprah and Ellen Degeneres? But the real chutzpah, as only a dry drunk can muster – is saying those words while at the same time Congressional Democrats and the Centers for Disease Control are fighting the Federal Emergency Management Agency over continuing health problems associated with living in FEMA trailer for two years!
Here’s how AP reported it:
“WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Federal Emergency Management Agency manipulated scientific research to play down the danger posed by formaldehyde in trailers issued to hurricane victims, according to an investigation by congressional Democrats.
FEMA "ignored, hid and manipulated government research on the potential impact of long-term exposure to formaldehyde" on Katrina and Rita victims now living in FEMA trailers, said a letter written by Democrats on Monday.
Democrats on a House Science and Technology subcommittee wrote the letter to Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. FEMA is part of the Homeland Security Department.
In a separate letter, lawmakers said the federal health agency that provided guidance to FEMA was "complicit in giving FEMA precisely what they wanted."
Victims living in FEMA trailers have complained of health problems related to formaldehyde, but initial FEMA tests revealed the air quality in the trailers was safe if those trailers were properly ventilated.
Formaldehyde is a common preservative found in building materials used in manufactured homes. It can cause respiratory problems and has been classified as a carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer and as a probable carcinogen by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency….”
So here’s a new idea: what if we added a new criteria for those who aspire to be president – no more drunks or dry drunks in the White House.
If not – we may have a rehab for plush toys.