Fannie Fierce

Terrifying Threesomes!

Filed By Fannie Fierce | January 25, 2008 8:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: straight

Dear Fannie,

I'm a straight man, mid-twenties, and I have an amazing, fantastic, sexy, girlfriend. We've been together for about a year now and she's fulfilled pretty much every fantasy I've ever had. We've even had a few FMF threesomes, which were bang-on. Now she's been trying to convince me to do MFM threesomes with her, but I'm just not into dudes. She tells me that if I'm not willing to help her with this fantasy that she should be allowed to have a threesome with two guys who aren't me. I don't like the idea of her being with other guys, but I just can't see myself enjoying a MFM threesome. Help!

--Trouble with Threesomes

Dear TWT,

So you have this bangarang girlfriend who is willing to go the distance for your every sexual fantasy, and your suddenly shocked when she asks the same from you.... Hmmm... it sounds like the benefits streams in this relationship is only flowing in one direction.

Any successful sexual relationship is one that has an egalitarian pleasure ratio. What I mean by this, is that both parties should be receiving equal amounts of pleasure from the sexual relationship. I specify pleasure because it is insufficient simply to dictate partners having sex with each other, because often times one partner may be receiving more or less pleasure from a specific act than the other. Many gay men are caught in a vice of having a partner who really enjoys topping, but at the same point not enjoying the sensation of bottoming. In the same strain, women for centuries have been the brunt of the pleasure differential in heterosexual relationships.

Now, TWT, your girlfriend has offered herself to you wholeheartedly. She's a rock star in bed and indulges in your every fantasy (how extensive or raunchy those are, I have no idea). If she's put out for you in such a generous way, you should be willing to return the favor. Assuming your girlfriend is straight, having a threesome with you and another woman was probably less about her own pleasure and more about pleasing you. Even if your girlfriend isn't straight, giving you the opportunity to get it on with two bodacious babes probably wasn't one she took lightly. So, when approaching the prospect of engaging in a MFM threesome, think more about it being a gift to her... because, frankly, she's already put out for you. Time to pay the piper.

It may help to set up some ground rules with her and find out exactly what she expects from this kind of sexual encounter. Is she the kind of gal who gets off on man-on-man action? If so, then you might try and negotiate how much you and the other guy are going to be interacting. If it's only light touching and encouraging each other while she gets to pleasure herself with two hunks, then I think that may be a little more reasonable. And finally, if you just can't get past those anti-homo sex freak out feelings, then you should let her have her fantasy, because she deserves it.

Obviously, it goes without saying, stay safe and always use safer sex practices. Avoiding spreading the HIV is always the way to go.

++
fiercely,
fannie

send your questions to fannie@bilerico.com


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As Joan Crawford said to Rock Hudson when she offered him oral sex in the boat house... "Close your eyes and imagine I'm some one else."