Michele O'Mara

50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: # 15-16

Filed By Michele O'Mara | February 08, 2008 11:18 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: advice column, lesbian, relationship, tips

In my book, Love Tips and Trips for Gay and Lesbian Relationships, I have identified 50 Ways to Keep Your Lover. My post last Friday offered strategies 13-14, this week I am sharing strategies 15-16. Look for more strategies next Friday!

15. Know Your Partner. Most people literally spend more time consciously researching, exploring, identifying, and learning about the car that they intend to buy than they do in their mate-selection process. How crazy is that? If it’s true what the US Department of Transportation says, that the average life of a car is 12 years, then how long do you think the average relationship is going to last if we put less time into selecting a mate?

Once you are in a relationship, it’s easy to let your curiosity wane. One of the ways to stay in touch with your partner continually is to stay current with the changes in her life. When she develops new interests, talk about those with her. When she is struggling with friends, family or coworkers, take time to understand how it is affecting the person she is and the person she is growing into.

A fun way to keep the curiosity alive in your relationship is to pick up my book, Ask Me! 728 Questions for Heterosexual and Gay Couples, and literally keep it in the glove box of your car or your bed night stand, so that you can generate random conversations about numerous topics that you otherwise may never discuss.

16. Give Your Attention.
I do not know of a more basic method of expressing love than that of simply giving someone your full attention. Your attention may simply be listening, spending time together, or holding your partner when she needs held. Or it may involve calling to check on him when he is feeling sick, or asking him to talk about his feelings when he seems blue. Giving someone your full attention is possibly the single greatest way to show someone you love them.


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I'm the healthy relationship cheerleader to Michele's healthy relationship coach!

Alex, you are a nut.