Bil Browning

Putting my foot down

Filed By Bil Browning | February 01, 2008 2:05 PM | comments

Filed in: Site News
Tags: banning, respect

Okay - this one will be short and sweet. I've put all of this on the front page because I want everyone to read all of it.

Today, for the first time in over 3 years, we've had to ban a commenter. This is not a decision we take lightly and we hope to never do it again.

I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that you are guests here. As you would if you were a guest in someone's home, we expect you to behave civilly and respectfully. This is not your redneck cousin's Christmas party where everyone gets drunk, a fight starts and someone throws the TV through the window.

The past couple of weeks have been hellish in the comment threads. Every day for the past week or so, I've had e-mails from readers, commenters and contributors letting me know that they're not comfortable expressing themselves on the site due to a few rogue commenters. It's time for it to stop. If it doesn't, we'll be going to all moderated comments and banning folks from the site.

We don't ask for much, but we do ask that you respect the diverse opinions and experiences you'll find here. You may not always agree, but hopefully you'll challenge yourself. I'd like to encourage everyone to take a moment to re-read our Terms and Conditions for participating on the Bilerico Project.

If you can't play nice with others and leave your baggage at the door, then go somewhere else. I'm fucking sick of it and I'm putting my foot down. No more. Play nice.

This post will stay at the top of the page until midnight.


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"to a few rouge commenters."

Is that some crack about folk using makeup?

LOL - Good catch Wilson. :) I've changed it. Damn spellcheck not working when you're angry!

Wait... who was banned?

Not to be rude, Nick, but it obviously wasn't you. :) Let it go, please.

I am sorry this has to happen.
Sue

Oh you know I love the drama, Bil!

I think a lot of people love the drama Nick.
I would like to know what i missed, but my life won't be a disaster if i don't know.

Take care
Sue

Ha! Sue, I honestly thought that it might have been you who was banned!! Glad you're still around stirring up trouble.

Its your show. You have to run it as you see fit.
I don't remember seeing you at the X-mas party. And is was grandma's rocking chair, not the T.V. through the window. This year, anyway.

Nick
I might have views that some may be offended by.
However i have the decency to respect the Bilerico Project's rules. I have no tolerance for people who disrespect me or my right to identify as i please.
This is not contrary to the terms of service of TBP.

I have great respect for everyone here who have accepted me and how i identify. I am happy to say only one contributer and no commenter have ever crossed that line.

This is without exception the most respectful blog site i have been on to date.


Sue

Just to entertain Nick's curiosity, I'll venture a guess. I was probably the same man who trolls over at CC whose surname starts with "Bed".

I hope I get more than a cookie if I got it right.

Lucrece

How about;
A beer (inported or microbrew)
two peaces of good cheese
and a four ounce slab of smoked salmon.

:)
Sue


Sounds good enough for the times where I'm not in the mood for a more base kind of "consumption" >:D.

*wink*

beergoggles | February 1, 2008 6:21 PM

Someone mention beer?


If you're reading this thread, you probably didn't get banned. We don't fuck around when it comes to banning those who take things too far.

There is a time-based IP ban for the user that doesn't allow them to view the site at all from any IP address they've ever commented from.

Their commenter account will be banned permanently. This happens when 1) your transgression is particularly egregious or 2) you have been warned repeatedly or banned previously.

We like to have an open forum here at TBP, but we cannot allow a few folks who can't play nice ruin it for everyone.

beergoggles
what is your flavor?

I like Thai Rice beer the best.
I can't spell it but i recognize the label Good stuff. Smooth never skunky comes in tall brown bottles.

Sue

Bruce Parker Bruce Parker | February 1, 2008 11:51 PM

If I may just draw everyone's attention to comment #15 and point out that Jerame (our webmaster) is particularly studly when he puts his technology laden foot down.

Yea, I was worried it was Sue as well. I was like come on people don't kill the fun.

:)
Go back and look I have a clear handle on my temper :)

The best thing to do when things get hot is get up and walk to the mailbox. For me that is three miles away. (one hour 40 minutes round trip) We have Post Office box. The Post Man was afraid of my roommate's dog locked behind a steel screen door.

Take care
Sue

This is not your redneck cousin's Christmas party where everyone gets drunk, a fight starts and someone throws the TV through the window.

Really? Aw, man!

*picks up TV, throws it through the window, climbs through and runs off*


Haha, but it's nice to see all the positive "Still standing!" comments here. Thanks for letting us know you're still around.

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."
We've all heard that, but it's wrong. Words that are mean-spirited and hateful do hurt, and they are divisive.
We as an LGBT community have more than enough to deal with that comes from outside our community. We don't get anywhere by throwing insults at one another from under own umbrella. It's big enough for all of us.
Thank you for the action you felt you had to take, Bil. Hopefully, this will tone down the rhetoric just a tad.
We'll all be better off for it. A little suggestion - perhaps we should all reread our comments before hitting "enter," and just ask ourselves, "Do these words hurt anyone, and I mean "anyone," in our community?" If it does, most computers have delete keys, too. All it takes is a little thoughtful consideration. We'll all be better off for it.

Just thinking out loud here.
"Do these words hurt anyone, and I mean "anyone," in our community?"
I know that I can say anything about my own birth family, but when someone else says something mean or hurtful, my first reaction is to defend, even if (or maybe especially if) it is exactly the same thing I have said.

I've obviously missed the comment wars that have led up to Bil's action, so I'm just wondering how that dynamic is at play here.

Ales we love you
Sue

Sue, my beer of choice is a home brewed imitation of Magic Hat's Feast of Fools.

From their site: "A perfect dessert beer brewed exclusively for the holiday season. Hand bottled, champagne corked. Our inky, rich, black stout, with the addition of raspberries."

It's one of the best reasons I have to never move out of New England.

beergoggles;

That sounds good, i like a good stout once in a while..
Take care
Sue

Some rules of thumb I've found useful:

- Take a deep breath and wait at least half a day before you respond to a post that pisses you off.

- It's one thing to talk about one's personal experiences, it's another to generalize your experiences as being someone else's experience. Especially when it's done in a "my experience/POV/etc. is better/more authentic/etc. than your's" fashion.

- Remember everyone posting is a PERSON, and most of them are likable, and being LGBT can make life pretty difficult and complicated for most of us. Sometimes, someone may just be having a bad day. Give people as much room as you'd like for yourself.

I'm willing to actually say that I apologize to Bil for what I said, because I AM willing to take responsibility.

So, does anyone know when Bil has his next birthday?

Monica

I like to think that every day is Bil's birthday.

I'm willing to actually say that I apologize to Bil for what I said, because I AM willing to take responsibility.
Welcome aboard Monica.

That makes Three of us now.

Susan Ann Robins
HBS survivor

Um, Sue, to quote you, "I am sorry this has to happen." It still doesn't sound like you are apologizing for being one of the people responsible for it happening, just that you sound more like you are sorry to witness it. If that is you way of saying you're sorry for your part in this, then okay. Could you clarify that, please?

UM
Give it a rest Monica.
I did apologize.

I am not responsible for anything except someone calling a man. Sorry but my birth certificate and my doctor will tell you otherwise.
Now Perhaps You should Drop it.

Susan Robins

Touchy, touchy. A woman cannot even be nice to you without getting her head chewed off.

"The lady dost protest too much, me thinks." - Hamlet -

Um, Sue, to quote you, "I am sorry this has to happen." It still doesn't sound like you are apologizing for being one of the people responsible for it happening, just that you sound more like you are sorry to witness it. If that is you way of saying you're sorry for your part in this, then okay. Could you clarify that, please?

I would welcome any further explanation that would would offer to show me that this comment is both complementary and respectful.
I am always open to any possibilities.

Protest?
Really....

Have a nice day Monica.

Susan Robins

Okay ladies. Go to your corners. No goading in the "No more" post dammit...

And don't worry about the birthday gift, I'll be hitting ya'll up for money next week. *grins*

That explains a lot...
Fire and water usually don't mix too well.