Oooookay. Time to update the photo. On Huffington, on Bilerico, and my own blog.
I think I need some vaseline on the lens.
Seriously, this haircut reflects more of who I am than the long hair ever did. Sounds silly to me, in many ways, to hear myself talk about hair. I personally grew tired of having the endless hair ties lying about the house, my office, my car, one almost always on my wrist, just in case. I've had short hair almost all of my adult life.
And I've been called "sir" almost all of my adult life.
The funny thing is, even with the long hair? I still was called "sir." Not always, but enough. A more honest picture of myself would be the following:
I wear a baseball cap a lot. I have my favorites- John Deere, Life is Good, and of course, the Red Sox. And note the addition of the flannel lined shirt- hey, it's cold up here!
The bottom line is that I look like a boy even with hair down my back.
My friend Kristen, at our superbowl party said, Ya look like Thomas Jefferson, for crying out loud. Cut it off.
I did. Not because she told me to, but because I knew it wasn't me.
Besides, I'll take the short hair over looking like I have a mullet have the time. I never did get how to blow dry the top so it didn't just lay there, looking flat.
I had someone tell me once my androgyny worked well- the plunging neck line and men's pants which fit because I have no hips. And the fact that I tend to saunter.
I had never thought of it that way before. Androgyny. I liked that.
I realize people use me as a projection screen for their own gender identity issues. Case in point, my son Ben. He wants me to be the perfect vision of femininity. It's too dangerous for me to walk around with men's clothes and cowboy boots.
Or not fair.
It's time to update the photos. I'm not a long locked, blond. Actually, I'm not really a blond, I just have an amazing stylist. I'm also old enough, comfortable enough in my own skin, not to care if I'm called "sir."
That's a lot of power to be handed over a haircut.
The truth is, I want to look like me. I never did get used to seeing myself in the mirror brushing all that hair.
Walking across the playground on Friday, one of my favorite moms came up and said, It's about time. Enough of that girly-girl stuff. THIS looks good.
There you have it.
Except for the vaseline...
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11 Comments
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I hope you won't take offense if I say that with the cap on you remind me a bit of Charles Haid.
Val | February 12, 2008 11:21 AM
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Personally I LOVE the photo of you in the hat. You look hot in it. I think you should use that one for the site. :)
Bil Browning | February 12, 2008 11:41 AM
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I like the new photo better. More attractive.
MonicaHelms | February 12, 2008 12:25 PM
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I left Sara's original photo up for today so folks could compare and contrast. It'll be changed tomorrow. :)
Bil Browning | February 12, 2008 12:40 PM
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Hey I get called sir all the time..I have long hair. It is usually shoved in a ball cap or beanie though. So I actually get embarrassed a bit when they call me sir. I don't know if I am embarrassed for me or them. I usually joke and grab a breast (mine) and proclaim "I am Woman hear me roar." Huh Maybe I should just get over it.
sageweb | February 12, 2008 12:46 PM
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I get called "Mr." by people who haven't even met me. They think it's fun to refer to me in male pronouns, because to them, it would be an insult. I have learned a lot from my lesbian sisters when it comes to what other people want to call you. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I want to thank my lesbian freinds in setting me . . . dare I say it? . . . "straight."
Aaarggg! The S-word!
MonicaHelms | February 12, 2008 1:24 PM
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who is charles haid? I'm only offended if he's ugly...
Sara Whitman | February 12, 2008 3:14 PM
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The new do's pretty sassy, Sara!
Alex Blaze | February 12, 2008 4:43 PM
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Charles Haid played Renko in "Hill Street Blues."
And the resemblance only holds in that picture with the hat. It has something to do with the pugnacious/quizzical look, I think.
Val | February 12, 2008 4:56 PM
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"Charles Haid played Renko in "Hill Street Blues."
And the resemblance only holds in that picture with the hat. It has something to do with the pugnacious/quizzical look, I think."
I think it's the smile that reminds you of Haid. I see it, too. But I don't think I would have posted it. So many GLBT people have to deal with gender issues, why go there.
Rory | February 13, 2008 2:54 AM
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Given that she has said that she appreciated her own androgyny, I felt the risk of offense was minimal.
At certain angles, I bear a fair resemblance to Rutger Hauer. T'ain't no big thing.
Val | February 13, 2008 6:25 AM
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