Suzanne Kleid wrote up a driver's ed class that works in the abstinence-only tradition. Here's a bit:
And for those of you wondering if it's OK for you to learn to drive because you're gay and can't get legally married, well, don't worry your troubled minds about that, because there's no driving where YOU'RE headed. Everyone in Greenwich Village takes the subway.
This is all very serious, guys. The incidence of car crashes in this town has quintupled, just since the beginning of Abstinence-Only Driver's Ed six months ago. QUINTUPLED. Do you know how much that is? Me neither, but it proves you need to do exactly what I say.