Why do they keep making it difficult for me to watch sports events? Baseball bores me to tears. Basketball gets monotonous. And football? How many hours does it take to play a one hour game?
Swimming, however, has been this gay man's voyeuristic attempt at athleticism. The shaved down, lithe bodies wearing naught but a pair of skivvies that'd make a nudist blush somehow managed to capture my attention.
Now Speedo has come out with a supersonic swimsuit that's breaking world records so easily that the Olympic Committee is up in arms. It smoothes out those encumbering non-aerodynamic bumps like nipples, abs, rear ends and, uh, the nether-regions.
What's left for naturalists like me? Figure skating? That's too damn gay.
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7 Comments
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Thanks for ruining my Monday, Bil...
At least I can still ogle the divers.
Waymon Hudson | March 31, 2008 1:40 PM
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Bil,
You could always watching the Ultimate Fighting Championship. The hot sweaty muscle boys wear tight little shorts and roll around on the floor trying to get one another to submit.
It sure works for me.
Michael Crawford | March 31, 2008 1:59 PM
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Oh Bil theres more than figure skating try Hocky but its realy more fun to watch at a game than on tv.
Cathy | March 31, 2008 2:35 PM
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C'mon, Bil. Use your imagination. There's high diving. You know...what Greg Louganis did. I suppose you'll say tennis is boring. But there's gymnastics. Track and field. Speed skating. To name a few.
You'll have quite a menu to consider when the Beijing Olympics air, and you can check them all out.
Oh, and soccer. Pretty exciting sport, IMHO. Pretty uncovered (now and then, players even pull off their shirts). And said to be "gay." But probably not considered quite as "gay" as figure skating.
Patricia Nell Warren | March 31, 2008 4:08 PM
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Figure skating is gay? I would have never suspected.
Um, have you ever been to a WNBA game, Bil? I guess you're not into the pink taco like I am, so it's really not your scene. But you wanna talk about gay action . . . Hellz yeah! Where my Mercury fans at?
Serena Freewomyn | March 31, 2008 5:08 PM
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Michael, your comment made me crack up.
Get off the Ultimate Fighting already!
Alex Blaze | March 31, 2008 5:13 PM
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Serena, Right on, give me WNBA action anytime over those guys in their baggy shorts.
Women's soccer is pretty hot too.
Hey Bil, Greco Roman wrestling, thats the ticket for you!
diddlygrl | March 31, 2008 6:22 PM
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