Kate Clinton

It Ain't Over

Filed By Kate Clinton | March 30, 2008 10:03 AM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats, Hillary Rodham Clinton, humorous blog post, John McCain

Hillary Clinton is like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. She just keeps coming back for more. She's a fighter and you've got to love that. No really, you've got to love that. Don't make me have to come over there.

She hasn't asked me, but I don't think Hillary should get out of the race. I do think she should take maybe a couple of days off. Go down to Florida where the state motto translated from the Latin is: Florida, where your primary vote doesn't count either. She should sit in the sun with a big straw hat on and read a big fat Danielle Steele book cover to cover. Chill.

Barack Obama went to the islands for Easter, heck, he couldn't go to his old church, and he played some hoops while Hillary was trying to avoid non-sniper fire. Maybe rope-a-dope is his new strategy.

The campaign has gone on so long we've cycled through seasons of sports metaphors: the symbology of football Bowls, basketball bracketology, baseball spring training. Why stop before the Summer Olympics? The torch is on the way from Greece to China by way of Mt. Everest, through some got-nothing-to-lose monk riots. Let the games continue!

In a recent poll, and I don't know about you, I can't get enough of those recent polls, 38% of Democrats said that if their candidate isn't the Presidential nominee they are going to vote for McCain. The poll was translated from scratchy Arabic on a cassette tape dropped off at CNN.

Based on that poll, everybody, even Fickle Friends of Hillary [FFOH] are calling for Hillary to get out of the race. I even heard someone invoke Tonya Harding. That is cold. Hey, we've come this far in the presidential marathon, why make Hillary pull a reverse Rosie Ruiz?

Fighters are made better by good sparring partners. Tennis players improve by with hard-hitting practice partners. My niece, who doesn't get a lot of game time, takes her role in practice on her division-leading college lacrosse team very seriously.

If Barack Obama thinks the Clintons are relentless, petty and dirty double-teamers, I'm sure there's a Yogi Berra saying that applies here to indicate that he ain't seen nothing yet.

McCain is a reckless kamikazi for freedom. He has the grudging support of his fellow Republicans and their machine. McCain also has the full-larynxed support of the media boys he's curried for years. They love his ass.

The Loserland television networks are invested in keeping the campaign going, despite their disingenuous goading of Hillary to quit. They say do the delegate math. There's no way. They must have forgotten what Harvard's Larry Summers said about women and math.

Like the print media, the networks are hemorrhaging audience to the Internet. This is their last campaign hurrah. And they desperately want to elect one more president for the Gipper.

So Obama/Michael Douglas quit your whining. Hillary is doing you a favor. Don't be caught flat-footed. Get your cup on. Wear your head and mouth gear.

And watch for her knock out punch.


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Loathe as I am to have either in politics, I'll answer a sports metaphor with a religous one:

"people tend to respond to failed prophecy in ways that reaffirm their faith"

OMG, Kate. I laughed so hard I had to put down my coffee mug so I wouldn't spray coffee out of my nose. OUCH!

The Loserland television networks are invested in keeping the campaign going, despite their disingenuous goading of Hillary to quit. They say do the delegate math. There's no way. They must have forgotten what Harvard's Larry Summers said about women and math.

HILLARY-OUS!

Well you know it's only 3rd down 4 to go and middle of te third quarter opps what a minute said that a zillion times already .


Carry on me bad :)
Caty

Haha, Cathy.

Let's see how many sports metaphors we can bring up in one thread....

Bottom of the ninth 2 outs and this batter is at 3balls 2 strikes theres the pitch fast ball and yes a hit to center field and oh no its a catch and game over !Fill in the names for your player on to who hit and who caught them out :).

In a recent poll, and I don't know about you, I can't get enough of those recent polls, 38% of Democrats said that if their candidate isn't the Presidential nominee they are going to vote for McCain

These are the same idiots that voted for Bush because they wanted to have a beer with him even though he's a recovering alcoholic and doesn't drink anymore. Is it any wonder they ended up disillusioned with him? They never even got one of those fake beers.

she's not going to call it a day, brandi, because she's about to win PA and IN and then what will everyone be saying?

the people need to vote.

well, not in florida and michigan.

Obama is ahead by 2 in the last seconds of the game. He crosses the half-court line, trying to let the clock run out. Clinton tries to make a steal. Is she successful? She'll need to make a desperation three-pointer if she can steal. There's only ten more primaries on the clock. Who will take home the crown in the DNC Finals, here in the Bilerico Broadcasting Network (BBN.)

Time out?