Steve Ralls

Madonna Saves the World

Filed By Steve Ralls | March 25, 2008 8:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Entertainment, Media
Tags: Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Timbaland

hard candy.jpg"Tick, tock . . . tick, tock . . . "

The high holy days are fast approaching for those of us who give thanks at the altar of her Madge-sty.

Yes, it's true. On April 29th, the universe will bow to bestow upon us one of those rare immaculate births known as a new Madonna release. Hard Candy, according to the Material Girl, will be "a juxtaposition of tough and sweetness - kind of like I'm gonna kick your ass but it's going to make you feel good." And the album's first single, 4 Minutes to Save the World (released today on iTunes) promises to live up to her claim.

4 Minutes, featuring Timbaland and Justin Timberlake (oh please tell me he's going on tour with her) is one part Gwen Stefani, one part acid-ridden high school marching band . . . and dripping with absolute Madonna.

The beat, the eroticism and the Mrs. Ritchie je ne c'est quoi are all there in full force. She even samples herself. Because really, if you're going to borrow, you borrow from the best.

"Come on, Madonna," Justin implores the perpetual diva, and come on she does, enticing Mr. Timberlake to "Come on boy . . . I've been waiting for somebody to pick up my stroll . . . I want somebody to speed it up for me then take it down slow; There's enough room for both."

They've only got 4 Minutes to save the world.

And in this season of all things politics, our favorite "Virgin" settles the question once and for all: Who do I want answering that phone call at 3am? My vote goes to Madonna, thank you very much. Does any terrorist want to mess with that much fabulousness?

I don't think so.

Yes, 4 Minutes promises a Candy store full of gay boy euphoria and a Confession-worthy session of sin.

"If you want it, you've got it," Madge belts out in the early refrains of her newest single. And the result reminds us that she does, indeed, still have it . . . and on April 29th (just an excruciating 37 days from now) we will - all praise her Madge-sty - have it, too.

This is one stroll we've been waiting too, too long to take.

(Author's note: 'Hard Candy' will be released in Europe a day early, on April 28. We are now accepting donations of plane tickets to cross the pond and indulge our excesses 24 hours early.)


Recent Entries Filed under Entertainment:

Leave a comment

We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others.

The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door.


I didn't realize that I needed another Madonna album in my life until just this very minute. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE "Confessions." It's absolutely the best album I have in my collection. And now I have something to pine for. Thanks for keeping me in the loop.

Oh yeah . . . "She even samples herself. Because really, if you're going to borrow, you borrow from the best." HILARIOUS!

Michael Crawford Michael Crawford | March 25, 2008 8:50 PM

I pre-ordered the album on iTunes today and got the single. I have been listening to "4 Minutes" all day.

I can't wait for April 29th so I can get a taste of Madonna's Hard Candy. It is sure to be every thing I've dreamed of and more.

Michael- You are soooo gay. LOL...

Hmm, sorry but I would be more excited if Black Label Society was going to be releasing something new.

I mean I already got my Type O Negative fix with Dead Again.

I guess I just don't 'get' Madonna and her music. Just not my cup of tea I guess.
(Wonder if Blue Oyster Cult is going to release anything new this year?)

Ywans so she has yet again reinvented herself good for her will I dash out and find it for sale nope. Im more a laid back Jimmy Buffet Parrot head fan than a Madonna fan.

I've not really gotten into Madonna much lately, although I did like quite a few songs from Confessions.

But why does everyone have to do the "featuring Timbaland" thing lately? It's getting boring.

... definitely glad she didn't "sample" Benjamin Wright --- just to be controversial, as she likes to sometimes be, y'know ...