Steve Ralls

Elaine's Wild Ride on the Sapphic Slip 'N Slide

Filed By Steve Ralls | April 21, 2008 10:23 PM | comments

Filed in: Fundie Watch, Marriage Equality, Politics
Tags: Elaine Donnelly, military, Robert Gates, Tammy Baldwin

There she goes again.

Elaine Donnelly, the ever-so-coiffed defense-department-damsel-in-distress, is having Sapphic visions of a Slip 'N Slide ride with openly lesbian Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin.

And of course, it has something to do with Tammy's mile-high adventure with a woman.

After Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, at the behest of San Fran sister Pelosi, granted Baldwin permission to take her partner on a military flight, our girl in Michigan got her hair net in a bundle. Ms. D. called the decision a "slippery slope" that "sets a disturbing precedent because it tends to suggest that marriage doesn't matter, [and that] marriage of people of same-sex or any such association should be treated as the equivalent of marriage."

"This is an incremental step forward for the gay rights agenda," Donnelly told One News Now. "These things are all interconnected. This radical social change doesn't always happen overnight with a court ruling. Sometimes it comes creeping along incrementally."

In fact, Elaine was so creeped out by the creeping incremental-ness of the 21st century that she missed a scheduled appearance on Blog Talk Radio, where she was surely set to preach the gospel of her most important commandment: "Never love thy neighbor as much as thy loves thyself." She was a no-show, and since I did not spot her at Washington's S/p/alon salon, (where the always fabulous Konstantin does my own 'do) one has to imagine she was huddled down in Michigan, thinking about Tammy and the missus.

But while our fair Lady of the Lesbos - and her straw-for-brains fans - lament the beating of scarecrows on Capitol Hill, she comes across more like the Cowardly Lion, relentlessly chanting "I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks." Because, after all, "Those who support the law banning homosexuals from the military, warns Donnelly, must be diligent in opposing the agenda of people like Congresswoman Baldwin."

Fortunately for the rest of us, however, Elaine is stuck waiting for her Aqua Net to come 'round the baggage claim carousel, while heroines like Congresswoman Baldwin insist on first-class treatment for LGBT people.

Meanwhile Elaine just slips . . . the poor thing has, alas, never learned to slide.


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Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 22, 2008 4:22 AM

Steve, thank you so much for providing those links to the other sites at the beginning. On the one hand, it IS a government paid vacation for a lot of these boobs and they should not get to take their "wives" for free. Did you know that when congressmen/women show up on foreign soil the local embassy runs to dispatch them cash and lodging? They ain't staying at a youth hostel either!

I was particularly gripped by the "Christan" website and the comments from the readers about how awful this was and how awful homosexuals and their agendas were na, na, na; UNTIL one comment came along on the "slippery slope" article you linked us to. "You are talking as though women shouldn't even be allowed to serve in the military."

I laughed out loud when one of them said: "We don't take orders from homosexuals." Oh, Senator Craig is still in office so you do dummy and many many more you do not know about like my lover, the former major who flew jet interceptors, was base safety officer, test pilot, and taught low level high speed maneuvering. He served 13 years until he could no longer stand it.

Damn those hypocrites who he kept safe!

I like a slip and slide . . . especially if it's covered in lube and there's a hot chick at the other end.

I think that's the kind that Elaine secretly wants too, Serena.