Gay Agenda Revealed: Statue of Liberty to be replaced by Freddie Mercury
Filed by: Waymon Hudson
April 1, 2008 7:00 PM
The master plan of the homosexual agenda has been revealed.
The National Security Agency has intercepted messages using warrantless wiretapping that confirm the worst fears of the Bush Administration. It seems they have uncovered a plot to redecorate the Statue of Liberty to resemble Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen. The Administration fears that the call to activate LGBT sleeper cells around the country has already gone out through encoded messages in Madonna's new CD as well as on Bravo TV shows.
The security threat level has been raised from yellow to pink - the highest on the country's color-coded system.
In a press conference, President Bush stated:
My answer is bring them on. One word sums up probably the responsibility... and that one word is 'to be prepared'. We know their strategery and will not be defeated.
Martial law is being declared and Bush has already tapped Mike Huckabee to spearhead the round-up of the rouge militant homosexual activists into confinement camps. The camps will be run by Ted Haggard and Focus on the Family, where detainees will be "ungayed".
Also included in the intercepted agenda:
• change the national anthem to Donna Summers "I'm coming out"
• change the Navy's uniforms to include rhinestones (the homosexual agenda has an infatuation with sparkly seamen it seems)
• have a U-Haul in every garage
• replace baseball and football with softball and pro-golf as the national pastimes
When asked by reporters for evidence of the intercepted transmission, the White House spokesperson said:
Trust us. Has our intelligence ever been wrong?
The government is asking for all citizens to be vigilant and report any suspicious activity.
Share
Like what you read? Subscribe to The Bilerico Project by Email.
Want others to read it too? Use the buttons and links here to share this entry with others. (Move your cursor over a button or link to learn more about it.)
12 Comments
« TBP Exclusive Interview with Jeff Stryker | Home | Pelosi helped Baldwin's relationship get recognized »
I knew you were good at this. It's a 9! You have an average of 5, which is really great, actually. Serena and Monica Roberts are ahead, but I'm rooting for you.
MonicaHelms | April 1, 2008 7:18 PM
Reply to this comment
Woo-Hoo! I'm going to go all Tanya Harding on those two and win it all!
Waymon Hudson | April 1, 2008 7:48 PM
Reply to this comment
Ha ha, you said seamen!
Serena Freewomyn | April 1, 2008 8:52 PM
Reply to this comment
I am someone who is an expert on both sparkles AND seamen, so I can vouch for this part of the agenda...
Waymon Hudson | April 1, 2008 9:10 PM
Reply to this comment
I'd like to report some suspicious activity. Earlier tonight I saw a straight couple walking their dogs. They acted like they were "normal". The woman even talked to me after I commented on the dog's clothing. I didn't know what to say, so I acted like they were just like any other person. It was so uncomfortable.
angie
angie | April 1, 2008 9:25 PM
Reply to this comment
Yeah!!!
Freddie Rules!
I'm coming out, however, was by Diana Ross.
Sean_d | April 2, 2008 9:48 AM
Reply to this comment
Great post! I laughed so hard here in my cubicle at work that it caused a wave of prarie-dogging from my neighbors!
Audrey | April 2, 2008 10:57 AM
Reply to this comment
Sean-
Those pesky Bushies must have gotten their intelligence wrong on that as well. :)
Waymon Hudson | April 2, 2008 11:19 AM
Reply to this comment
I'm sorry, but we have to re-visit this plan just a bit.
Freddie has to be wearing the white-and-black spandex jumpsuit, the one he wore in many of his concerts, the one that clings to his body's contours like second skin, if he is to replace the Statue of Liberty.
The outfit in the photo has got to go. It just isn't gay enough.
A. J. Lopp | April 2, 2008 3:04 PM
Reply to this comment
fun fact: That is the actual Freddy Mecury statue in Montreux, Switzerland
And Freddie Mercury is ALWAYS gay enough...
Waymon Hudson | April 2, 2008 3:35 PM
Reply to this comment
Freddie has an actual statue in Montreux, Switerland?
Ooops!
A. J. Lopp | April 2, 2008 3:47 PM
Reply to this comment
Great post. Although in real life, the religious right themselves would like to get rid of the Statue of Liberty, because she's a pagan goddess. They did succeed in removing Liberty's image from our coins, over many years of maneuvering.
Patricia Nell Warren | April 4, 2008 9:17 AM
Reply to this comment