Don Sherfick

Larry Craig as Veep Nominee: the (d)elusive evidence

Filed By Don Sherfick | April 23, 2008 9:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Politics
Tags: closet cases, humorous blog post, Larry Craig, satire, vice president

The speculation concerning Idaho Senator Larry Craig being selected by John McCain as his running mate this fall seems to be continuing, despite claims by skeptics that there is absolutely no hard evidence to support it. I first broke the story on April Fool's Day, supplemented it, and was reprimanded by my editor.

No hard evidence? Where have these doubters been since that fateful day on August 27, 2007, when the story first broke concerning the Idaho lawmaker's June 11, 2007 encounter in the Minneapolis airport restroom? Apparently Larry isn't the only one who's been sitting on a story.

It's a fundamental scientific and logical principle that absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence. Moreover, as many of us middle-age to older guys well know, absence of hard evidence is not evidence of hard absence......certainly not until after four hours have gone by and the doctor won't return the phone call.

Do I know for sure that John McCain is thinking seriously about putting Larry on the national Republican ticket with him this year? No. Do my detractors know for sure that he isn't? See there......it's at least a standoff. How wide of a standoff you'll have to ask the Senator.

Doesn't anybody remember that sign above Fox Mulder's basement desk in "The X-Files"? "I Want To Believe"? Did Fox have hard evidence of flying saucers? What ever happened to good old honest-to-goodness blind faith, anyway? Just try this: Narrow your own stance just a bit, close your eyes, click your heels three times and say: "Larry Craig is going to be the next Vice-President of the United States of America."

Still nothing? Try leaving the stall door open and going through the same routine.

Hmmmm.

Well, look. Not being able to verify whether John McCain is thinking about inviting the Idaho senator to join him on the ticket ought not to quell important discussions, like over Craig's positions on foreign policy issues. For example, this fall's Vice-Presidential debate might well contain an exchange like this one:

George Stephanopoulos: "Senator, how do you feel about partitioning Iraq into three autonomous zones?"

Craig: "As a matter of general principle, George, I'm generally opposed to partitions, but if you're going to have them they need to be at least one foot off the floor."

Stephanopoulos: "You didn't completely answer my question, Senator. What about the zones being autonomous?"

Craig: "Look, history is replete with tragic examples of what happens when certain things don't remain anonymous. You're looking at one."

Evidence, shmevidence.........let's put an end to this Vice-Presidential stalling.


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I laughed during the short feature, but I keep nodding off during the two-hour movie.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 23, 2008 11:27 AM

Why not Mark Foley instead to go after the Youth Vote?

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 23, 2008 11:35 AM

or Ted Haggard for the Religious Right?

..let's put an end to this Vice-Presidential stalling.

*groans*

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 23, 2008 12:30 PM

I agree with you Bil. It is time to dispense with some potential carcinogens entering this process.

Exactly. There's nothing wrong with believing Larry Craig will be the next VP if we want to.

But then again, why would we want to? I suppose he'd have more experience at getting the job done than the current Dick we have in there.

A.G. Casebeer | April 23, 2008 2:13 PM

I cannot imagine McCain, as short as he is, being able to take that wide of a stance.....

Do you think Craig has had ass rejuvenation surgery? I hope so.