Yesterday, Democratic leaders in the Michigan House of Representatives fastracked a resolution calling for a new state bird: The Middle Finger.
The move came after months of infighting with the Democratic National Committee and national pundits who have been either paralyzed with inaction or simply complaining all the time. By "shooting the bird" to the DNC, George Will, and dozens of other pundits, state leaders are hoping to get some control back over the delegate mess that Michigan is going through.
Responding to criticism that the Middle Finger is technically not a bird, Speaker of the House Otto Kapidal said, "Actually, when doing shadow puppets, the middle finger looks strikingly like a tern. Which is a way for us to tell the DNC it is their turn to act."
Activists for the PETA were upset at the move because they say they have been auditioning qualified birds for months for the role of state bird. Spokeswoman Nadia Fault had this to say: "What the f*ck. We were just about to sail through the ostrich because it so appropriately has it's head in the sand. We will urge Governor Granholm to veto this particular finger in the hopes of elevating one of the most ridiculous looking animals on the planet."
Hours after the comment by Fault, she was terminated by PETA for her remarks.