For years, scientists have been trying to locate "the gay gene." Not to be outdone, researchers at the Kinsey Institute have been looking for "the straight gene."
"Dr. Kinsey's early studies on sexuality revealed that most people are not exclusively heterosexual or homosexual," said Joe Blow, a head sexologist conducting the study. "Most people lie somewhere in between. So what we wanted to know is what causes this small minority to be heterosexual."
"We're excited about the possibilities of finding a cure for heterosexuality," Sally Wood, another one of the researchers. "So many people suffer needlessly from heterosexuality and dull sex lives. Isolating the straight gene will put a stop to that."