Here's a shocker: heterosexuality is oppressive! A new study shows that after all these years, married women still do more housework than their husbands.

Sounds like an excellent case for homosexuality to me! Follow me after the jump for my rantings about the patriarchy.

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These studies aren't revealing anything new. Straight men are lazy slobs, that's all there is to that. I love that the Gender Studies professor who was interviewed in this video, Martha Beck, comes right out and says that married women are servants. Whoa, there, Dr. Beck. You're starting to sound like a bra-burning feminazi! *Cue scary music* BUM, BUM, BUM!

What I don't get is why no one is studying how housework duties are divided amongst same-sex couples. Oh wait . . . it's because we're not really married. Ergo, we're either a) just roommates, or b) the housework isn't really getting done. (If the subject is bears, then I would venture to say that the answer is b. Am I right?)

So ladies: if you're tired of picking up your husband's socks and you think you'll commit hari kari if you can't get him to take out the trash, maybe you should give lesbianism a try. We're always recruiting. And hell: we pick up our own socks.