"As you know, seeing Ellen happy makes me happy, for everyone should be happy with the one they love, be they straight, gay, transgendered, bicurious, master, slave, S&M, or even Belgian -- especially Belgian, those miserable bastards deserve it. For me, public exhortations of love are no different than telling everyone how great your bowel movements are since switching to All-Bran -- no one gives a [bleep] except you."
-- Fox News' Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld criticized Ellen DeGeneres for announcing on her show that she's marrying Portia de Rossi.
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