Well, I guess my partner is finally making an honest man out of me. We are hopping on the love train and getting married in California. We are to be wed on June 27, 2008. And I couldn't be happier.
Anthony and I already consider ourselves married. We have been together for six years and have a son. We have our civil union from Vermont, our domestic partnership in our county in Florida, and had a commitment ceremony with our families. We have more anniversaries than you could even imagine. Any excuse for gifts and jewelry, right?
So why bother going to California and getting married? Why do we feel the need to make it "official" or need a piece of paper to confirm what we know? To us, this is just icing on the cake...
We already had a vacation planned for San Francisco in June to celebrate one of our many anniversaries. So as soon as the verdict came down, Anthony set up an appointment to get our license, then popped the question (he was very sure of my answer, I suppose). After some tears of joy, a warm sense of happiness set in. We were doing this. Finally.
I think it is simply a validation of what we feel in our hearts. It won't make a difference for us in Florida but on some level, it's pretty powerful. We won't be domestic partners, or "civil unioned"- but married. Anthony will be my husband.
And no one can take that feeling away.
I'm a firm believer in everyone deciding what's right for them-marriage or not. Our actual reality won't change, but it's an important symbol. It may not be for everyone, but for us it means a lot.
I think the easiest way to describe why it matters to me is share the reaction I got from one of my gal pals. She is a firm believer that marriage is a horrible, patriarchal institution. She was excited for me but was asking why I needed to do it. I explained how much it meant to me and she kind of got it. We joked back and forth about what kind of dress I would wear. I said it didn't matter what I wore, to which she replied-
"But this time it's for real."
I couldn't have said it better myself.