Michele O'Mara

50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: # 49-50

Filed By Michele O'Mara | June 06, 2008 11:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: advice column, lesbian, relationship, tips

In my book, Love Tips and Trips for Gay and Lesbian Relationships, I have identified 50 Ways to Keep Your Lover. My post last Friday offered strategies 47-48, this week I am sharing strategies 49-50.

49. Laugh Daily. Fun and laughter go hand-in-hand. Pleasure leads to safety and safety leads to intimacy. You are more likely to reveal your truest self when you feel safe. Be sure to include some humor in your world. Humor is passion, aliveness, connection, and fun. Humor brings light and laughter and fun and pleasure. When you take yourself too seriously you begin to lose perspective, you begin to sink under the weight of such seriousness.

50. Communicate I Love You every day, without relying on these three words. Love is a verb. You experience love through doing, not being. Love is often viewed as a passive experience that either exists or it doesn't exist, but in all reality, love is an action, a verb, something that you do.

When you rely solely on the three words, "I love you" to convey how you feel, you are missing a whole wide world of opportunity to express love. Be creative, authentic, and genuine. Think every day about one thing you can do to let your partner know that you love her. Put a love note in her purse. Call just to say "hello." Rub her feet after a long day. Look in her eyes and smile at her with your whole heart. It doesn't take much to communicate love. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive or complicated. Keep it simple. Keep it real.

Michele O'Mara, LCSW


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I can't believe we've made it all the way through all 50 tips! I can't wait to see them all in one place.

Michele, I've really enjoyed reading all of your tips and have been taking many of them to heart. Thanks for the great advice!