About five years ago I came out to three good friends of mine. Ever since then we haven't really talked about me being gay or homosexuality in general. I think that they are uncomfortable about discussing it but I'm not sure. I would like to talk about [these things] with them anyway. What should I say?
Thanks! --Silent & Unhappy About It
Dear Silent & Unhappy About It:
What would you like to talk about with your friends? Have you been censoring yourself over the past five years? If so, what sorts of things are you not telling them (about dating? your thoughts on news stories? politics?)?
I think the best approach is an organic one, which means talking about things related to your sexuality when it feels natural. So if you're dating someone and your friends ask what you did over the weekend, answer honestly and tell them what you did with your partner/boyfriend (and use the word "partner" or "boyfriend," instead of a gender neutral term like "person"). And if there are gay issues in the news that you would like to talk about, do it! For example, you could ask your friends what they think about gay people getting married in California.