Great video, Waymon! (Very cute guy!!)

As an alternative to not dropping the F-bomb, though, what about, "That's 'Mr. Fag,' to you!"

One of my best friends used to wear a t-shirt with those words. He's braver--and much taller--than me. But I love and support the sentiment.

I've had a very love-hate relationship with the "other" f-word. Although I think calling it the f-word is a little too "He who must not be named" for me.

Words are just that. Words. Sure calling a gay guy a f@g can be hurtful and offensive... but there are plenty of situations where using the same word can be used to mobilize and reinforce a queer identity. Especially a queer identity that's not afraid to make the heteropatriarchy and those sell-out, heteronormative, gays and lesbians shake in their boots.

Like just last night, Margaret Cho took the stage at the Bravo A-List awards (i think it's a pretty safe bet that at least some of you queens out there were watching) and said that she loved Project Runway "because it's just fags and fag hags fighting!" I don't think anyone believes that Cho should be scolded on her usage of the word. In fact, I kind of like it.

I think what the video is about is quality of thought in answers and discourse. It is not a TV award special and "in" jokes that are "just about us" that others (like myself) do not comprehend.

I don't think anyone would (or should) find it amusing to say:

"because it is just dumb blondes and blonde wanabes fighting!"

Although deeds always outweigh words in my view of life I know that when mom or dad calls their child "Stupid" frequently enough the child frequently comes to believe it. Others hear when words are used and just out of deference to good manners...

Further, there are many "heteronormative" things that I would hardly consider being a "sellout" of one's personal individual choice. People have a right to live and be treated in a manner that they find comfortable. (Like Waymon, who chooses to marry) Not my choice, but I respect his right to his happiness by his definition. To stick someone in the eye because their definition of comfort is different from yours is not liberation, it is another form of oppression.

My god, it's more than all the reasons he said. It's also because it's just embarrassing for YouTube. Their comments always devolve to that - they seem to attract the stupidest commenters on the internet to their site. It's funny that I'll see a video posted here or elsewhere with people rationally discussing it, and then I'll click to look at th YT thread and it's all "your a fag" or "shut up bitch" and stuff like that.

When I was a scared and closeted little latent homosexual being called a "fag" was such a hurtful and potentially damaging thing. Today, now that I'm a merely neurotic big old openly gay homosexual, I take it for what it really is--my opponent's declaration of intellectual surrender.

"Your a fag" (YAF) is usually the last argument that comes out of an opponent's mouth or keyboard before any and all discussion shuts down and is the verbal equivalent of the playground bully bopping you on the head before they run home with their Gameboy to beat off.

For any self-respecting and self-accepting gay man a simple "Uh huh,--with or without flashy finger wag--should suffice since, when you think about it, the YAF-er has just acknowledged your sexual identity and is now speechless. Two points for our side. If that's all there is to their summation then, 'nuf said.

It's hard to imagine finding myself in a disagreement with a straight person and rolling out the big guns to win the argument by saying something like, "you like the opposite sex!"

I know there's a whole long and horrible history of hate to the word 'fag' but I the more I've learned to accept my sexual identity the less powerful the word has become to me. As a kid I always translated the word as if they were saying, "You are not a real man and worse than dirt." Now, on the rare occasions that anyone uses the word on me (in fact, I only hear it from a very ollay-talented "straight" friend, hmmm?), I translate the word as him saying "I don't have anything intelligent to say and I so I'm as smart as dirt." It's all in how one chooses to translate the words.

I guess it's just another way of wearing that "That's Mr. Fag, to you!" t-shirt. Where can I get one, btw?

Cute!

KMFox9400, I don't know where my friend got it...you could always get one printed.

I loved that video.

Robert,

I actually wasn't referring to Waymon at all with my "heteronormative" comment. I'm all about gay people getting rights and equality. I fully support any couple and their desire to get married. But, I think it's really short-sighted of the gay community to think that getting marriage rights somehow signifies the end of our struggle. Just because we can exchange vows, rings, and get tax benefits doesn't mean we won't continue to experience religious, psychological, and physical violence.

And to put marriage on the pedestal that the modern gay rights movement has, very much masks the needs and concerns of many gay people who could care less about getting married and are more concerned with things like... oh i don't know, job stability, HIV/AIDS and other STDs that are STILL running rampant (despite our best efforts as a community deeply affected by these diseases).

On top of that, marriage as an institution is profoundly centered on middle and upper class family models. Being, the nuclear family: Two parents, 2.5 children, dog, picket fence, etc. The marriage model disenfranchises many family structures, especially multi-generational matriarchal families which make up the majority of poor black families. If we devote all this energy to gay MARRIAGE, all we do is limit the kinds of relationships which can receive legitimacy and rights. aight, i'm done ranting.