2. Obama wants to cut and run from Iraq regardless of conditions on the ground or future consequences. McCain took on the president and secretary of defense in demanding more troops for Iraq, a policy that is inarguably winning the war. He also has two sons who fought in Iraq.

3. McCain supports nuclear power. Obama backs wind energy.

4. Obama wants restrictive gun control because only economically depressed middle-Americans "cling to God and guns." McCain unwaveringly supports the Second Amendment.

5. McCain has deviated from his party's conservative base on several occasions (McCain-Feingold Bill, Gang of 14, McCain-Kennedy Bill, opposition to torture). Obama has voted the left-wing line every single time, and been designated the most liberal Senator in Congress.

6. Obama is willing to meet with hostile state leaders like Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez without preconditions. McCain will set conditions first, talk later -- maybe.

7. Obama is married to a bitter, angry lawyer who became "proud" of her country for the first time this year. McCain's wife is a beer heiress who founded an organization to provide MASH-style units to disaster-torn world regions. Did I mention that she's a beer heiress?

8. Obama supports higher taxes for a government-run nanny state that will coddle all Americans like babies. McCain trusts people to spend their less-taxed money however they wish.

9. The name John McCain sounds like "John McClain," the action hero played by Bruce Willis in the manly Die Hard series. "Barack Obama" sounds like the kind of elitist villain John McClain has to outwit and defeat.

10. McCain is endorsed by Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Obama gets support from Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks, and every weenie in Hollywood. Plus, Susan Sarandon has vowed to leave the country if McCain gets elected. Case closed.

Apparently this Lou Aguilar couldn't just write "I have a small penis" over and over again; he had to make it sound politicalesque. This was the solution.

But I'm not going to get into how Aguilar's policy prescriptions are just stupid. He's obviously a Bush conservative and dumb, manly-sounding policy is the name of the game.

But the fact that he's basically reduced himself to schoolyard taunts (Only sissies vote for Barack Obama!) instead of actual arguments shows us just how much further we need to go. Homophobia and misogyny still carry a lot of weight in American political discourse, and Republicans have been much better all along at just painting Democrats and liberalism as feminine instead of actually debating issues.

Honestly, I think this is one reason why queer issues and fighting homophobia in all its forms should be a central goal for the Democratic Party - they're constantly being beaten over their heads with this sort of junk and the only way we're going to get past it is if we stop seeing feminine men as inherently evil.