Monica Roberts

GOP Gold Digger

Filed By Monica Roberts | July 15, 2008 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Politics
Tags: 2008 Election, John McCain, Kanye West, Monica Roberts, Monica's song rewrites

Serena, since you asked for it, Cindy and John McCainI'm gonna bring it for you and all our Projectors.

On TransGriot I occasionally do song rewrites satirically skewing various subjects to keep the creative writing juices flowing. Thanks to Serena, I got an idea for my first Bilerico one, and it's dedicated to our favorite GOP gold digger and paragon of "family values."

So grab your IPods, download Kanye West's "Gold Digger" and sing along with the slammin' new lyrics provided by moi. ;)

He takes my money when I'm in need
Yeah he's a trifflin' husband indeed
Oh he's a gold digga way over town
That digs on me

Chorus
(He did me wrong)
McCain's a GOP gold digger (When I'm in Need)
Cindy made his bank account bigger (He did me wrong)
McCain's a GOP gold digger (When I'm in need)
Cindy made his bank account bigger
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down

After Vietnam
Cheerleader had it going on
With truckloads of cash
Under her underarm
Cindy said, "John, you rock!"
As she fell for his charm
His wife Carol prayed for his safety
From the Viet Cong
Dumped his first wife for Cindy
Yo homes, have you seen her?
Because Cindy's cash helps in the political arena
Cindy adopts a Bangladeshi kid
Bush used to ruin the 2K presidential bid
Ok you got ya kid I have to bring around my friends
I sold out to the Bushies for my career to extend
But I won the nomination, that's the bed I made
If I'm messing with this girl then I gotta get paid
You know why
It take too much to touch her
Cindy's makeup comes off in huge clusters
But without her my career would be lackluster
Don't care what y'all say yeah, I still love her

(He did me wrong)
McCain's a GOP gold digger (When I'm in Need)
Cindy made his bank account bigger(He did me wrong)
McCain's a GOP gold digger (When I'm in need)
Cindy made his bank account bigger
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down


14 years, 14 years Carol had your kids
Cindy's also got you for 18 years
John's payin' alimony for dissing her, dig?
His baby momma's car and crib ain't bigger than his
You see McCain on Meet the Press almost every Sunday
But he won't be driving off in a Hyundai
He was supposed to buy the presidency with her money
He went to the doctor and got a facelift with his honey
He walkin' around with a grin so sunny
Barack gonna wipe it off your face in November, sonny
If you're so in love why'd she get a prenup? Say it
SHE GOT A PRENUP, Yeaah
It's something that she felt she needed to have
Cause if you leave her dude she ain't gonna give you half
14 years, 14 years
And Cindy didn't tell him she was adopting a kid.

He did me wrong)
McCain's a GOP gold digger (When I'm in Need)
Cindy made his bank account bigger(He did me wrong)
McCain's a GOP gold digger (When I'm in need)
Cindy made his bank account bigger
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down boy go head get down

You're a GOP gold digger and you got needs
McCain said she wears too much makeup and insulted her weave
Bailed out your broke campaign in your time of need
You publicly called her the C-word, damn homes she's peeved
But you peeps outside the beltway need to watch him
While half your check gets spent putting gas in your Datsun
McCain got that presidential ambition look in his eyes
In November it'll be Obama taking the prize
With Michelle his only wife standing by his side
McCain's trying to win but his heart ain't right
How you dissed Carol, keep spinning, awight?
McCain you really make me hurl
Dumping your wife for a younger white girl

Get down boy go head get down
Get down boy go head get down
get down boy go head get down
get down boy go head
(can you play that back)


Cross posted to TransGriot


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Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | July 15, 2008 10:57 AM

Love the lyrics! Don't have an ipod :) Thanks Monica

Neither do I Robert. I listen to my music the 20th century way with CD's.

AirMonica,
You are just tooooooo funny at times. I can't wait for next week when you'll be in town and we can sing this together. I hope you like cats. And, we're having our yearly trans picnic in Dallas' hometown, on that Sunday. And, the Dream game Sat night.

SeaMonica

You should have seen my rewrite of 'Rudolph, The Rewd Nosed Reindeer' that I retitled 'HRC, The Fake Civil Rights Org'.

I also rewrote 'You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch' to slam the Purple One for screwing us on ENDA, and my congressional sources told me he wasn't amused.

I found the line about "Cindy's makeup falls off in huge clusters" to be particularly catty! ... especially when aimed at a woman who easily could afford to hire her own cosmetics professional.

Thanks, Monica ... you get down and rock on!

Oh, this is too funny. And I love that Kanye song too.

Monica, thanks for the song dedication.

He was supposed to buy the presidency with her money
He went to the doctor and got a facelift with his honey

You're too fucking much! That song literally made my day!

Could buy her own cosmetics professional, A.J.? How about her own cosmetics company? :)

I'll be doing more of these for the Project from time to time.

Glad you enjoyed it, Serena and Projectors.