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Bil Browning

Proof that girls are evil

Filed By Bil Browning | July 06, 2008 1:00 PM | comments

Filed in: The Movement
Tags: feminism, money, root of all evil, sexism, sexist jokes

With plenty of feminist readers, I can't wait to see what everyone thinks of this... Your opinions? Would it be funny if "girls" were changed to "pets" or "hobbies"?


First we state that girls require time and money.
Girls = Time + Money

And as we all know, time is money!
Time = Money

Therefore:
Girls = Money x Money = (Money)²

And because "Money is the root of all evil":
Money = √Evil

Therefore:
Girls = (√Evil

And we are forced to conclude:
Girls = Evil


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and evil is live spelled backwards, so what does it all mean? men have been screwing up the planet and killing everything and everyone who moves since the beginning of recorded history. and women have been holding things together, raising children, and making life worth living the whole time. thereby enabling the continued existence of man to continue screwing everything up...therefore, you might just be right...

except, there's a mathematical fallacy here:

if girls = time + money, and time = money, then girls = money + money, which is 2 x money. Since for a large number of values of money, 2 x money does not equal money x money, (in fact, for all values of money other than 0 or 2) our proof has a bit of a problem.

I think it works if you say girls = time x money.

I think we should change the word girls to non-profits.

Can I change "Girls" to "twinks"?

Considering that girls are females under the age of 16, this is kinda mean to kids.

Don't be silly. Girls are pure sweetness and goodness. Now has anyone seen any spare children running around? I'm getting hungry.

So THAT'S where the witch in Hansel and Gretel moved to, Canada.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | July 6, 2008 11:54 PM

Mercedes, I have a wonderful recipe for enfant L'Orange!

bigmaggie | July 7, 2008 12:43 AM

Yeah, I think the only thing that proof actually proves is that boys can be bad at algebra, too. Your initial constraints show that girls=2*sqrt(evil). You also get that evil=girls^2/4, whatever that means.

change it to 'fundie christians' and you have a winning formula

Um, has Melissa from Shakesville seen this formula? Careful Bil, it could be an all out tar and feathering if they were to get a hold of your girls = EVOL formula.

Oh god I can just imagine the comments........

I've not learned a lot of the "feminist theory" that several of our contributors have had, Alli. You'll notice I didn't comment on it.

I actually hope that Melissa does pick it up. I'd be interested in reading the comments her readers would have about it. I learn more about feminism from the comments section of my posts than anywhere else (other than Melissa's site itself!).

I should be clear though that I didn't write the formula. I picked it up somewhere online and thought it would make a good conversation starter.

Bil Browning said: "I should be clear though that I didn't write the formula. I picked it up somewhere online and thought it would make a good conversation starter."

.....I see a future in politics for you Bil. - lol

Bil Browning said: "I should be clear though that I didn't write the formula. I picked it up somewhere online and thought it would make a good conversation starter."

.....I see a future in politics for you Bil. - lol