Kate Clinton

Snakes On A Plane

Filed By Kate Clinton | July 05, 2008 1:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Media
Tags: Independence Day, Jesse Helms, Liz Snow

Trifecta news day - the man who played Bozo the Clown died; a transgendered man in Oregon gave birth to a baby girl; Jesse Helms died of "natural causes" in North Carolina at the age of 86.

The man who told his friend Orrin Hatch that he was going to sing Dixie to Carol Moseley Braun until she cried, who delivered his state to a lagging Ronald Reagan in the Republican primary, who loved all things Pinochet, who chaired the Foreign Relations Committee, who was a vile and constant homophobe has finally died.

In 1984, I went to Raleigh-Durham to perform at a benefit to raise funds to help defeat Helms in his third Senate re-election bid. Liz Snow, an old friend from Syracuse, New York, who worked at Ladyslipper Records, picked me up at the airport and briefed me on Helms sleaze campaign stories as we drove to the hall.

As we clunked along in Liz's mini-truck, in the middle of a particularly horrific race-baiting story, at the last second we saw what we both thought was a huge log across the road. A second before we hit it, we saw that it was a huge snake. Liz gunned it and screamed, "It's Jesse Helms!" We flew through the air like a Dukes of Hazzard car chase scene. Helms was a snake, a huge speed bump to progressives in the South and the nation. Good-bye, Jesse Helms. Let's hear it for natural causes.

Happy Independence Day!


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More like a quadfecta - you missed one:

By Sean Fewster
July 05, 2008 09:28am

A WOMAN who starred in homemade pornographic movies with two teenage girls - whom she likened to US celebrities the Olsen twins - has had her jail term erased.

South Australia's Full Court of the Court of Criminal Appeal yesterday replaced Rebecca Jane Clarke's "excessive" 12-month jail term with a two-year good behaviour bond.

The 23-year-old, of Goulburn in New South Wales, remains a convicted sex offender, but only for now.

Although the court upheld her convictions, she has flagged a High Court challenge so she can pursue her dream of working with disadvantaged children.

In December 2007, Clarke was found guilty of producing child pornography - a DVD in which she has sex with two 14-year-old girls while saying "I feel like a child molester".
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Yes indeed. No jail term & she can pursue her dream of working with disadvantaged kids who might not have the resources to report the abuse.

On second thought - maybe you can just drop the birth story and leave it a three ring circus. A nod to tradition. A birth being a happy occassion & all of us wishing the child well.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | July 6, 2008 1:34 AM

Let's see, one fellow who looked great to everyone in makeup, one fellow who is mom and dad, and one fellow who was just a mother.

Are you sure he is dead? Anyone going to the funeral with a hat pin?

Well, did Liz's mini-truck kill the poor snake? Big snakes are pretty resilient ... so unless you hit it on the head, probably not.