Kate Clinton

Wildcatting

Filed By Kate Clinton | July 16, 2008 5:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Politics
Tags: George W. Bush, lesbian, LGBT, offshore drilling, Province Town

It's a beautiful day here in Ptown and we were out at Herring Cove and some of the gals were in their beach chairs. It was low tide. We were talking, just idly letting the sand sift through our fingers. Well, one thing led to another and before you know it, we were all wildcatting for oil. Anyone can do it now, because George "the pusher" Bush issued an executive order lifting the ban on offshore drilling. He treats SUVs like SVUs.

Pretty soon everybody was staking claims and getting pretty mean. Especially the babes from Texas. It's in their blood. There will be blood. They could care less about piping plover nesting grounds. They ripped down our one and only windpower windmill, and started using the blades for deep digging and swatting other prospectors away. I don't know if they'll get their rigs up before Rosie and Kelli's R Family Love Boat gets to town on Thursday, but I sure hope the wildcatters have the decency to hang some lanterns to alert boats. I think it's a law of the sea. But the land, like Lucy, is lawless.

Ptown is a sanctuary city. We grant asylum to anyone who jumps ship and wants to stay. But I think the R' Family Barge should worry about stowaways. Like me. Don't get me wrong, everything is going great this summer. After all, it's Bear Week here, not Bear Stearns Week. But after the incendiary and insulting "satiric" New Yorker cover with Michelle and Barack Obama, Bush's incoherent press conference, CA bank failures, and John McBush supposedly rising in the polls, I might have to get on my Navy Seal drag, hop a tender and stowaway with Captains Rosie and Kelli.

And then leave my cell phone on and mess with the ship's navigation system and head due South. Brazil, here we come!


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Brynn Craffey Brynn Craffey | July 16, 2008 7:29 PM

Brazil makes more sense (weather-wise) than Ireland, where I chose!

Dare I hope that Congress will stop the Cons from drilling off our shores?

I was in Ptown last Monday! It's one of my very favorite places to be, certainly. Hope you all can enjoy the Cape despite all the bad news...

Yeah, wait until they start putting rigs up on Indiana Beach. *grins*

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | July 17, 2008 12:47 PM

I always wonder when a politician tries to justify the "freedom" of the individual to choose a low efficiency vehicle no one mentions the necessity (or right) that we all be able to breathe.

I am offended that there are any vehicles available as personal passenger transports that do not get a minimum of 40 MPG highway. And still, we waste fuel even when it is at the current price levels. If you doubt this try going the speed limit. Selfish fools will be on your bumper in no time cussing you out.

We have seen the enemy and he is ourselves.

I also think Brazil's a good idea. I hear they have a lot of oil there. Who knows? Maybe the R' Family cruises can become the next Exxon.

Oh, wait, that's not a wonderful goal....

Brazil... good country. I like Costa Rica, too.

To think, we used to have a good country.

I'm going to be finally unpacked after my last move five years ago and have to move again?