Obama declares vice presidential candidate, may support slavery
Filed by: Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore
August 12, 2008 5:00 PM
Speculation has run rampant over the past several weeks as Barack Obama searches for a vice presidential candidate -- guesses have run the gamut from the usual suspects of Bill Richardson, Hillary Clinton, and John Edwards to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Indiana Senator Evan Bayh, Jesse Helms RIP, and even fashion designer Carolina Herrera (a fashion-addled reporter spotted Caroline Kennedy with a Caroline Herrera gift box, and the rumors spread like California wildfires).
But today Barack Obama ended the anticipation with a surprising choice: former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic, now in custody facing a war crimes tribunal in The Hague. Asked about Karadzic's alleged participation in war crimes, Obama said only, "We need real change in Washington."
Formerly liberal supporters of Obama struggled to explain the stunning, and potentially illegal, choice. In recent weeks, Obama has courted the Israel lobby, and indicated he may support nuclear power and offshore drilling - Karadzic's stance on these issues is unclear, but he is considered tough on crime and is unlikely to oppose the apartheid state of Israel. Moreover, Karadzic speaks several languages, and "would not hesitate to nuke Iran," according to one Obama insider who requested anonymity.
But the surprises did not stop there. Later, at a press conference on his energy policy, Obama was asked to address the problem of unrest in the Niger Delta that has lead to a decline in oil production. Obama, an internationalist with keen knowledge of foreign affairs, pointed out that oil production would probably not be such a contested issue if the workers were enslaved. Asked if this meant that Obama supported slavery, he answered, "All options are on the table."
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13 Comments
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where did he announce this? a quick search of news sites didn't turn anything up.
poolboi | August 12, 2008 6:49 PM
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It must've been at one of those HRC galas.
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore | August 12, 2008 8:05 PM
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Difficult for me to laugh at this one as I spent too much time interviewing Bosnian survivors of the horror that he and Mladic rained upon that nation. A French colleague asked me to visit an abandoned battery factory in a town called Srebrenica. It was full of bullet holes and blood. There were graves not that very far off, mass graves being opened, the stench reaching out quite a distance.
Karadzic remained at large with the connivance of nations for far too long, Mladic is still at large.
Bosnia deserves justice and I cannot laugh, not for many more years, at any joke about the men that made the horror possible.
MauraHennessey | August 12, 2008 10:11 PM
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Was this a pained attempt at satire?
Evan | August 12, 2008 11:14 PM
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And here I thought it was a deathly serious post. Satire? I thought satire was dead. *deadpan face*
Bil Browning | August 13, 2008 10:40 AM
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Thank you, Maura, for a chilling reminder of the horror.
My point, of course, is that we have our own war criminals (and future war criminals) that we're looking too as saviors.
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore | August 13, 2008 12:12 AM
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How many Vice-Presidential debates do you think Karadzic and Larry Craig (assuming I turn out to be right about his being tapped by John McCain) will have? What about one at the Bosnian airport (check with Hillary on dodging sniper fire there) and the other at the Minneapolis facility? The National Enquirer is already salivating.
Don Sherfick | August 13, 2008 7:13 AM
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Evan, why pained? And Bil, satire is always dead -- long live satire!
Don, you're right -- we must check with Hillary about dodging sniper fire with Larry Craig -- forget about the National Enquirer, we're going right to the New York Times -- that's a satire if there ever was one...
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore | August 13, 2008 9:37 PM
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Obama believes strongly in slavery. Since it is obviously ordained in the Bible, he feels that all truly fundamentalist Christians should be honored to serve in their true Biblical role, as sheep and slaves to the evil GLBT, scientific, and socialist plantation owners.
Of course, the Vice-President will be Clinton, now. Chelsea Clinton. They're going to have the doctor that signed the Chinese women's gymnastics team's birth certificates take care of the age issue for her. Just you wait, she'll be revealed as being, in reality, the same age as John McCain.
Polar | August 14, 2008 2:49 AM
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But what will happen with Kate Bush -- I heard she was under consideration!
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore | August 14, 2008 3:07 AM
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lmao
Serena Freewomyn | August 14, 2008 12:42 PM
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HA HA!
It's almost as though whatever atrocities these people support is being written off just as politics. Bayh co-leading the charge into Iraq just means that he's a centrist!
Jeez, if politics is so empty, and he has to appeal the extreme right to get elected, why not just choose Cheney?
Alex Blaze | August 15, 2008 1:51 PM
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Mary Cheney?
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore | August 16, 2008 1:56 AM
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