Editor's Note: Queerview Mirror is a review from two of our editorial team, Serena Freewomyn and Waymon Hudson. If you'd like something reviewed, feel free to pass it on. If they like you, they might look at it, otherwise- suck it.
Waymon: Hi Hi! Can I just say that Shear Genius is the queerest show EVER on Bravo. Seriously- it's a show about hairstylists and hosted by a Charlie's Angel. And I think every contestant is gay...
Serena: And has a faux hawk. Wait! You could totally be on the show- except you'd need more plastic surgery. Jaclyn Smith and Kim Vo are pulled tighter than a pair of pants on J-Lo's ass.
W: For reals!! Kim Vo scares me. When he smiles, I think his face is going to crack. My hubby screams every time he comes on the screen.
S: He may be an expert colorist, but damn if he knows when to say no to the knife.
W: At least Host Rene Fris makes up for it. He's so dreamy! You can't understand anything he says, but he's cute as can be!
S: You are so easy. I will say that the contestants are one catty group of bitches! They are so mean to each other!
W: Especially super diva gay Charlie. I can't believe he told Nekisa that "America loves a shapely woman and don't you forget it." I almost died!
S: Now she is hawt! She can't cut hair to save her life, but she's nice to look at.
W: She already has a show-mance with that cute little Dee. I just want to pick Dee up and put her in my pocket.
S: Pocket Dyke- coming to a store near you! I think she could win it all actually.
W: My bet is on her or meany Charlie.
S: So how much did the "update Charlie's Angels hair" challenge disappoint you? They sucked at it! And Kate Jackson was so harsh as a guest judge. I love her!
W: Me too! I'm glad she was tough. The contestants totally dropped the ball on that challenge.
S: Charlie was hilarious when he was judging the other hair styles. "I hate it." Such constructive criticism.
W: Seriously! He's so cold! He'll have his own show soon.
S: Ugh. I don't trust a bald hairstylist. It's not natural.
W: For sure. Well, as my TV boyfriend, Rene, would say, "Let's go shake it!"
S: You are such a dork.