I'm completely with you, Alex, in not wanting to trivialize the death of anyone lost due to suicide by assigning a single, simple, trigger. (I learned from experience after my partner's suicide in 2000.)

I hear you, as well, about the risk of assuming that legal, equal marriage will mark the end of all problems for gay folks.

Good thoughts... thanks!

I agree entirely I'm sick and tired of people trotting out marriage as the solution to every problem anyone in the queer community is facing. In my local community there are a few individuals who seem to think that once queers get marriage everything will be perfect forever. No one will cheat on there partners, no one will get depressed, no one will have casual sex, and no one will be without health care.

All I can do is pat them on the head and tell them its a cute fantasy. Marriage wont fix all of our problems it will fix a few problems for a few people. But I don't see it bringing sweeping and monumental change to most of our worlds.

All good points Alex. What lies beyond is the necessity of Human Rights for all people around the world. A massive and probably unending effort to start with the basics of clean water and education. We westerners are largely ignorant of how truly fortunate we are in the division of the best things in the world.

My own attitudes are not a secret. If I give the state the right to "legitimize" or "institutionalize" my relationship what has it been for 32 years? I have to think that our joining an institution of "respectability" with a present 50% failure ratio is not the best use of our efforts as all relationships are what individuals make them.

I certainly respect those who view their marriage as a refinement of their commitment.

Quoting Leviticus? What are you a doctor of Shocker? Veterinarian perhaps? No, that would make you a man of science and obviously it is too complicated for you. Mail order Doctorate of Divinity?, yes, that would be about your speed.

Unless you are a new delusional soft drink with plenty of pointless caffeine and a bitter aftertaste.

Shorter Dr. Shocker: Love the shrimper; hate the shrimp.

Thought I'd spell the joke out for Robert.

Same sex marriage is not our most important fight. Far more important is a major fight for an inclusive ENDA, and agianst Barney Franks fake verion. He gutted and then cut it because in it’s original form it would have been a body blow to the little piggies that own and manage companies that want to increase their profit margin by underpaying GLBT folks, women and minority peoples. The Democrats accepted every amendment put forward by Republicans and the only winners were the Chamber of Commerce and the bigots.

Of equal importance is hate crimes and hate speech legislation which was also ditched, this time so that no one would form the outrageous view that Democrats were pro-LGBT.

BUT, when SSM becomes the focus of a major attack, which, win or lose, has major national consequences, the picture changes totally. We are not just defending a silly patriarchal holdover to get tax breaks for rich GLBT folk, we’re defending our community.

A better way would be to abolish marriage with it's wealth preserving and cult connections in favor of inclusive, secular civil partnerships. And we need laws requiring passage of rigorous parenting classes and state guarantees for the welfare and protection of women and children, including insistence on a secular education.

I totally agree - not a cure all.

The inability to marry, and the subsequent feelings of alienation, can be a sizable contributor to depression.

However, I'd argue that homophobia in general is the killing agent. To me, it seems far more evident that prolonged torment/alienation on the social sphere, starting from early school, is what drives these feelings of perdition. Why don't I see myself on television? Books? Why is my identity used as an insult? Why do I have to be afraid of being beaten to death should I choose to express myself openly? Those seem like more immediate causes of suicidal thoughts than marriage.

Of course, everybody wants their socially recognized, exuberant, white wedding. It's such a family-centered ritual. For those of us where family is very central in our lives, marriage is such a burning desire. However, it would still be of little use if I were able to have my big Hispanic-style wedding, but most of my family would choose not to attend, or I would hear snide comments resonate from members on my wedding day.

Call me naive if you wish but the number one reason I vote in support of gay marriage is a hope it encourages monogamy.According to a recent article I read about aids there are still 55,000 new infections every year in the US and if I remember right 53 percent are gay men.Encouraging monogamy and safe sex and discouraging casual sex and infidelity would have to have some effect on the numbers of new aids infections of gay men.

Safer sexual practices and monogamy do not go hand-in-hand. It is perfectly possible to have responsible sexual contact numerous partners and be at far lower risk than someone practising unsafe sex once in a while with strangers.
The rise in HIV/AIDS amongst hetero people with their heads in the sand in the UK shows that gay and bisexual men are more likely to understand the risks and acknowledge them in their sexual behaviour than those of other preferences who still think you can "tell" if someone "has AIDS" by looking at them in a nightclub.