I am a 52 year old Lesbian who has been single for six years.
I don't do the gay bars nor the personals, but I am an attractive, educated, good person.
I have many interests and a diverse group of friends and I am totally out to all.
I am looking to meet women who are emotionally and mentally healthy.
I am attracted to women who look like women, but that doesn't mean you have to wear lipstick.
I currently reside in a small town and so opportunities are limited when it comes to meeting gay women.
I would welcome any of you to contact me who find yourselves in the same dilemma--where does one meet a nice woman?!
I am told that I have much to give and that I look much younger than my years.
I believe in love. I have hope.
My zodiac sign is Leo and I'm outgoing and positive. I only drink socially and never too much.
I'm trying to quit smoking, but this is a tough one for me right now.
I wish you all peace.

I am 50 years old and have been single for 9 years. I have dated a lot, but I haven't found anyone I wanted to get serious with. I get lonely, but I have also come to hate dating somebody for a few months only to learn that it isn't working out. Call me picky, but I refuse to just settle. What's really uncomfortable though, is going to lesbian events and running into a handful of wimmin whom I've already dated! Sheesh! It begs the question, do I need to start over in another town?

confidence is key.... online dating is fun, and can lead to mutual friendships as well as long term relationships, but being true to yourself will never do you wrong...

"Between all the head games, lies and weirdos I'm at the point where I just want to give up on dating forever. "

You know, she lost me there. I would be willing to bet that, if you asked those she has dated, they would say the very same things about her.

I have come to the conclusion, in the time that I have spent going through the dating mill that:

Everyone lies, plays head games, and is, in some way or fashion, to someone somewhere, a wierdo.

I have further concluded that; if you want someone who is stable, look in the straight community, and even there, they will be few and far between.

Queer folk are bent. In some way or fashion; by society, by our own families, by our very predelictions, we are not stable in the strictest sense of the word. We are damaged goods girls, and even with therapy, well you can heal a lot of it, but the shit that we have to put up with in this society, not just as queers, but as women as well, is enough to break the best of us.

So you can go ahead and look for Ms. Goodbar, that elusive and ever so rare "perfect" woman. Me, I am going to just take people as they come, and if a connection is made, great, if not, well it is always nice to meet new people. Living is full of lies, headgames, and wierdos, and you know what, sometimes it is the wierdos that make it so interesting.

So you can go ahead and look for Ms. Goodbar, that elusive and ever so rare "perfect" woman. Me, I am going to just take people as they come, and if a connection is made, great, if not, well it is always nice to meet new people. Living is full of lies, headgames, and wierdos, and you know what, sometimes it is the wierdos that make it so interesting.

Amen.

Dateless, Not Desperate...I love the title of this topic because I do not feel desperate, in fact, I feel very powerful right now. I'm in a good place personally and professionally and all I need is a "date" because I am dateless. LOL

I think sometimes that people think I am desperate because I didn't jump right back into the dating scene when I ended my relationship in 2002. However, by staying single, I think I took the fist big step towards getting healthy.

I spent time mourning and healing and reflecting and it has made me a better person. To quote Richard Gere, "The hardest thing, I find is to have the courage every day to look at myself honestly. We all have a lot of layers, masks, imperfections."

I can only be me and sometimes that is hard in this world today, but I try.

How many of us are totally honest--with others and ourselves? I think we are guilty, at times, of expecting it of others, but fail to see our own actions clearly or expect honesty of ourselves.

I left a destructive relationship because I wanted to move away from suffering and toward happiness and though leaving my ex broke my heart, I came to realize through my sadness that what I was really mourning was my self that I had lost in this relationship.

I welcome any comments as regards my ramblings here.

Thanks.

Too many people try and find someone else to love or be with much too soon after the break up of a relationship. Many problems I think in relationships can be traced to one or the other person not giving themselves time to heal.

Our society pressures people into believing that if they are alone then they are incomplete or there is something wrong with them for being alone.

Everyone needs at least some alone time.

I agree with diddlygrl about how we are pressured to be in a relationship. I was recently talking to another single lesbian friend and we both agreed on how the social invitations come streaming in if people know you're dating someone. Dinners, movies, card games, weekend excursions... But, if you are single, it's like you are a threat.

It seems to be a lesbian thing. (I guess it's the same in the straight world too - but who cares?) Gay guys aren't like that. Friends are friends and groups have people in various stages/places.

They're lucky. I wish lesbians would be like that. The problem is we've all (lesbians) been burned by our partner's "new friend". I don't know the answer.

Yes Cheryl, it is the same in the straight world. The pressure to be "involved" with someone is pretty much universal, except possibly for gay men, who sometimes seem like they are involved with Everyone.

It comes down to a cultural thing, and the pressure is harder on women to have to be in a relationship. It is like our society considers it unwomanly for girls to be alone for any length of time.

Personally, I am going for old maid crazy cat lady standing right now!

The next time I hear of some old lady on the news who has 135 cats, I'll think of you. I'm down to 5 now. As they go, they will not be replaced.

Here's some questions for any one interested in answering:

What do you find most attractive in a woman or man? It doesn't have to be limited to the physical, which is limiting in itself.

Rather, what draws you to a particular person or do you any of you believe in fate?

Thanks and I welcome all comments.

Hey All,

To answer your question Penny, I think somebody's coloring is what draws my attention at first. The color of their hair, skin tone, and eyes. (Dark hair, olive skin and deeply colored eyes get my attention every time.) What keeps me coming back, though, are brains and attitude. I love smart people who are confident and have positive attitudes.

I don't have a Facebook account and don't really want one, so I can't tell you what I think about it. I'm on MySpace. I don't think you have to have an account to see people at that site.
myspace.com/castonestreet

C

Hey, I just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful weekend. I am very excited to be a part of this group and look forward to more discussions and sharing.

Peace to all.

I'm thinking on a question for Kathy that I can submit to start a new topic...ideas are welcome.

Again, have a good weekend and be safe.

Peace.

Penny

Oops! I meant a question for Michele, not Kathy--who Kathy is, I have no idea. :)

It's Friday people and my brain is tired.

Sorry, Michele O'Mara...I know you name like my own.

Peace.

Hello all ! Some of you are probably already aware of the incident that happened in Louisville, KY a few weeks ago at a McDonald's where a store employee referred to some gay males as faggots and made other hateful remarks as well while waiting on them. The manager of this McDonald's condoned this behavior.

I work with the partner of one of these gentlemen, and wanted to share that there will be a protest on October 10th at the McDonald's in Louisville at 4th and Market Streets from 12:00p.m. to 3:00p.m.

Keep these young men in your thoughts. We must fight discrimination of all kinds and I was very distraught to learn that this level of homophobia still exists.

I lived in Louisville for 15 years and I know it is against City Law to display this kind of discrimination.

Keep Ryan and the others in your thoughts tomorrow. We must stand together and keep working for a better world.

Peace everyone!

Well...I'm still dateless, but not desperate...however, I did agree to meet someone a week ago and while I found her to be intelligent, nice, warm, and many other things...I did not feel the "spark".

Not that I'm looking for a "spark" to happen this soon, but I was surprised that this person seemed to want to take the relationship to the next level after only one meeting. I think she was really disappointed that I did not feel the same way, but I had to be honest.

I'm not meaning to sound judgemental, but my question is: Is there something wrong with me that I can't jump in the sack right away?

I'm sure part of it is due to the fact that I have been single for six years, but I like to take things slow.

While I was flattered by this woman, I was also troubled that after she had been in a long-term relationship and has only been single a year, she wanted more so quickly.

Where oh where can I meet someone who wants to take it slow? Who will want to get to really know me before sleeping with me? Hence the old Lesbian jokes, I guess.

I'm very attractive and intelligent, but I think at times it is a curse.

Comments would be most welcome. I feel like there is no one out there for me...and yet I know this is defeatist thinking.

Like Reba sang:
Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there
Is somebody

Thanks to anyone who would care to comment. Come on Michele, I need a therapist here. ;-)

Dear B., you said, "Should I just accept the fact that I'm repugnant & worthless and give up on ever trying to meet someone? Or should I continue to suffer through rejection after rejection and hope for the best?"

Never give up on yourself or feel that you are worthless. It's hard though, I know. I just put myself back out there after six years.

I'm sorry...you sound hurt and angry. I wish I could help. I'm here if you want to talk about this more. I'm not going to judge you.

Penny

Hi...I stumbled across this page today, and enjoyed reading the comments to Michele's quandry.

I am a 52yr old lesbian who has been single for 3 yrs. last year I moved from Fl to IA (CULTURE SHOCK) to join a group of meditators from around the country. I am learning more and more about myself everyday, and realize that dating has to be put on the back burner for now. I have much to discover about myself and how I engage in relationships...familial, love, friend, casual, neighborly, etc...I am working on me right now...so that I will approach relationships in a healthy, loving way. one of the ways I am working on creating healthy relationships, is to have really wonderful, loving relationships with my family, and my friends. and, interstingly enough, right now most of my friends, are straight women. they range in age from 21 to 79, and I love each of them dearly...I do have lesbians in my life; my closest and dearest lesbian friends happen to be in FL...I have met a few lesbians here in IA, but none that I REALLY click with.

I read with interest the comments about dating; about single lesbians getting asked to join couples on outings; about wanting to meet someone who wants to get to know you before getting intimate with you...these are all discussions I have had with my friends... what I have found from my discussions with my non-lesbian friends, is that much of what has been discussed in this forum, is exactly what they are experiencing in their dating lives...in America, the emphasis is on couples...and sex...and this, in and of itself, puts pressure on everyone.

I would love this conversation to continue, and enjoy everyone's feedback.

Che