Helping a Projector: The Great Bilerico Soap Drive
Filed by: Bil Browning
September 24, 2008 8:00 AM
Updated at the end of the post.
Remember last week's contest where we gave away several bars of Just Bubbly handmade soap? Projector Jessica entered the contest by leaving this comment:
Yummy smelly soap would be fantastic here in Afghanistan (I'm currently deployed)!!
The comment caught my attention and I forwarded it on to Mariann at Just Bubbly. We put our noggins together and we've come up with a spectacular way for Projectors to help Jessica get enough "yummy smelly soap" for her and her unit.
From today until Sept 25th, if you visit the Just Bubbly website and make a purchase, Mariann will double your order. You won't be charged any shipping and she'll keep all of the soap and other luxury items ordered to ship directly to Jessica in Afghanistan. Just Bubbly will also donate a sizable gift to Jessica's unit when they ship out our order. Just use the coupon code BILERICO when you make your purchase. We are not making any money off this promotion; we're just hoping to help out a fellow Projector.
More info about Jessica and suggestions on items her unit could use after the jump.
When I first e-mailed Jessica and told her what Mariann and I had planned, she wrote back:
Bil, the generosity of people (especially random strangers) never ceases to amaze me. I can not get to justbubbly.com (the web nazis here block almost everything...I'm still shocked that I can get to bilerico!). The water here is unbeliveably drying (it's loaded with chlorine) so anything super moisturizing would be fantastic. The guys here (it's almost only guys here) are pretty macho (but love having a lesbian around) so I know they wouldn't use "pretty" soaps. Unscented is not a requirement. In fact, I haven't seen any unscented soap available here. But I know they won't use anything that smells "girly."
When I asked her to tell our readers a bit more about herself, she filled me in on her situation:
What's it like here? Well, first off, I'm a civilian. I volunteered to come here (which speaks volumes about my mental condition). I work for the [redacted]. I wear an army uniform here but it says [redacted] Civilian instead of ARMY. I'm the project engineer for projects such as Border Police stations, hospitals, roads, etc. I don't usually get to see the projects because it's too dangerous to travel there. We work 12 hrs/day, 6.5 days/week (Friday is our day off so we only have to work 4 hours). The base I'm on is actually pretty nice (for a base in the one of the hottest (hottest in terms of violence and temperature) regions in the middle of a war zone) but has, by far, the worst chow of any base in the country.
As for being a lesbian, since I'm a civilian, it doesn't affect my employment at all. I'm working on getting the guys here to stop using "fag" and "gay" and "homo" derogatorily. I don't know that I'm being very successful at it, but I'll keep trying. I did manage to convince one green-suiter (what we call the actual army folks) that being gay is not a choice. I considered that quite an accomplishment. They love having a lesbian around but I'm quite sure they would not feel the same about a gay man. Which is a concept I've never understood.
For the most part, I'm just one of the guys. In fact, there was one occasion where I heard laughter and said something like, "that sounds like a woman's voice," and someone responded, "fat chance of finding one of those anywhere near here."
No matter how you feel about the wars George W. Bush has drug our country into, the brave engineers work in the war zone every day with little pay and without many of the basic luxuries we take for granted. Besides, I'd love to see the look on the unit's faces when Jessica tells them that some "fag" blog bought it for them. *grins*
We'll be bumping this post back up to the top of the page every morning until the 25th. I'll also make sure to update it with how much soap we've bought for Jessica's unit.
I thought I'd also throw out some of the best items to be shipped overseas to Jessica since they'll be moisturizing, reasonably priced and "smelly." Check out these items:
- Goats' Milk, Honey and Oatmeal Lotions (scented) - $3 - $12
- Spa In A Can (multiple items - scented) - $10
- Travel Pack (multiple items - scented) - $10
- Body Butter (scented) - $4 - $8
- Loofa Soap (scented) - $5
Add this post to your Facebook profile, send out e-mails to your friends with a link, or blog about it yourself. If you can't afford to buy some soap, spreading the word is a great way to contribute!
Now, how much soap and luxury items can we send to this unit?
UPDATE 8/17: So far 8 orders have been placed with Just Bubbly. 8?! Just 8?! C'mon guys, let's help Jessica out... I've posted my plea on Huffington Post and Daily Kos along with several mailing lists that I'm on. I noticed FiredogLake picked it up. Can you help us spread the word further by posting on your own blog or sending to your mailing lists?
UPDATE 8/22: We're up to 12 orders placed with Just Bubbly. 12. *sigh* C'mon folks! Help us spread the word and send Jessica enough soap to outfit her unit!
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Does this mean I didn't win the contest ;-)
You can bet that I am going to make sure everyone knows that some "fag" blog sent the soap! Perhaps I'll get them to let me take pictures and I'll send them in to you.
Leave it to the gays to make sure we're moisturized and we smell good!!!
Jessica | September 16, 2008 2:04 AM
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One 4 oz. Body Butter Cucumber Melon on its way from a tranny. :)
Jesster | September 16, 2008 2:35 AM
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Fags and trannys...even better!!!
Jessica | September 16, 2008 4:58 AM
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I ordered the Spa in a Can, the travel pack, a loofa soap and - of course - my favorite, the My Pet Fish soap. Hey, everyone needs a fish in a bag!
Grand total? $30. And when I entered the coupon, it also took 10% off! I didn't know that would happen!
Bil Browning | September 16, 2008 7:07 AM
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I didn't see 10% off on mine...might be another promotion on one of the items you ordered?
Jesster | September 16, 2008 7:11 AM
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I'm gonna smell good!!!
Although, I'm not sure the joes here (and it's almost exclusively joes...janes are in short supply, sadly) are going to be too keen on some of the smelly stuff. Are there any macho scents? Or unscented?
Jessica | September 16, 2008 8:57 AM
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2 Men's Massgae Bar Soap On A Rope Sexy Sexy on their way!
(couldn't resist the 'Sexy Sexy' soap going to the butch army guys! :)
btw - they have a whole section of "Just For Men" products under the Seasonal Soaps area.
marc | September 16, 2008 10:43 AM
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Sounds like a pretty good idea. For those still supporting "Don't Ask., Don't Tell, though", you really ought to think a bit about what happens when the recipient manages to drop the soap in unguarded moment in the military shower. Possible response: "I was just trying to replicate Galileo's legendary experiment seeing if feathers dropped faster than something heavier. Didn't you see that wet feather in my left hand?"
Otherwise, you'll find military commanders searching lockers for traces of the sweetly scented bars in the name of unit cohesion. They must stick together at all costs.
Don Sherfick | September 16, 2008 11:07 AM
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Hi All!
Just thought I would drop in and thank all of you for "gifting" our bath products to Jessica and her unit. I am a believer that those who serve (whether or not we agree with Mr. Bush) should be well cared for. It is my honor and pleasure to have created this promotion with Bil to help our Jessica, our soldiers and others serving overseas. When you order please remember to put the BILERICO code in and say "YES" to the option of sending to Jessica. If you do this you dont need to enter a shipping address. If you have any questions please feel free to email me and ask away!
Mariann | September 16, 2008 3:47 PM
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PS.
If you want to send a personal note to Jessica with your order - just jot in in the special instructions and I will print it out and send it with the box.
Mariann | September 16, 2008 3:52 PM
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I sent the ginger lime travel kit. That's not too girly is it?
gregC | September 17, 2008 1:42 PM
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OK,.. I went a bit nuts, but.. rainbow soapcicles, rainbow kisses, body butter, and a bunch of other stuff heading your way from the bisexuals :D
wendy | September 17, 2008 2:01 PM
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Please pass along these beauty tips for the "str8" guys:
1. Clean your fingernails and toenails regularly. I don't want to see the crud under them when you're stroking my schlong or your feet are on my shoulders.
2. As Grandma taught me when I was a kid: exfoliate, moisturize, and stay out of the sun. Okay, so maybe you're screwed on the third one, but a high SPF moisturizer and a regular deep cleanse will help you not have the hide of a saddlebag when you're 40 years old.
3. Brush and floss at least daily before bedtime. The smell of three weeks' of funky rations coming from your mouth is not a turn-on when you feel like making out.
4. Keep the hair short. Nothing is more femenizing to men than hours spent molding, drying, then re-shaping hair made to look like some Boy Band member. A good all-around buzz or a high-and-tight can never go wrong.
bigolpoofter | September 18, 2008 11:42 AM
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Bil I hope you dont mind but I have to give you props for this on my blog and cross promote the drive. Is there any way to extend it past the 25th?
MRev. Kenneth White, Jnr.
Editor of F6 Queer Views Of Life Along Our Three Rivers
MRev. Kenneth White, Jnr. | September 22, 2008 4:07 PM
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I had to run a mission to another province (which required multiple fixed-wing and rotary-wing aircraft trips (some in the middle of the night)and an uparmored convoy). Whew, I'm tired and need a vacation...or, at least, a hot bath. Alas, we only have showers (can't complain too much, though, we do have hot water).
Bigolpoofter--I will pass along your gooming tips to the joes here and let you know what they say.
Jessica | September 23, 2008 12:54 AM
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I couldn't help it and just made a purchase -- waterfall mist travel pack. Figure that could be manly (or womanly). Now I'll have to go back again to order more for Christmas presents. Enjoy! :)
Rebecca B. | September 23, 2008 2:49 PM
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