You know, Bil, I saw a few of these comments and I was thinking about writing something up myself about it. I talked about this with you before you posted that post about transfolk a week ago, and I'm thinking there's some misinterpretation going on here.

I think that if we take this as "Bil Browning has decided that he needs to know more about trans issues, so start explaining it to him," then, like, yeah, it sounds insulting, privileged, and just a bit petulent.

But since we tlaked about it beforehand, I think how you meant it was "There are lots of people who don't know enough about trans issues, so Bil's going to try to start this conversation by fully confessing to his own ignorance." (IMHO this was a better choice than "Hey, you idiots who don't know anything, we're going to try to teach you!" It's politer, and politer rules.)

There was a commenter who mentioned the fact that you could just pick up a book and educate yourself, and if the idea was the first, then that'd make sense. There are plenty of great books out there about transgender people. But since it's more along the lines of the latter question, then, you know, I'd just say that there could also be great blogs out there too and this should be one of them.

Overall, I think it's a good use of this blog space for that type of education. People may come to read about national politics or LGBT activism or whatever, and if they learn a bit about what we're doing as a community, learn a bit about trans folks, that's all the better.

I don't know the answer to the question, but I can just say that someone's going to have to do the educating. I remember getting really offended at inadvertantly homophobic comments from friends back in college, and not even wanting to explain why those were offensive. But it was something that someone had to do, and I probably would have done better to not be so haughty about it.

Especially since no one's being forced to answer, and some people just love explaining their own people to others who aren't that familiar (yes, they exist).

Although this doesn't let non-trans people off the hook either. No "I just don't understand trans people so I can make fun of them all I want!" along the lines of John Aravosis, Andrew Sullivan, and Rex Wockner. There's not knowing and there's not wanting to know, and the first is forgivable in my book. But the latter seems to sheild themselves in the language of the former and I can see how it can get annoying after a while to hear the same people make the same shitty statements and that it doesn't sound all to different from people who are making a mistake for the first time.

(Also, your original post was about trans issues, feminism, and queer theory, but people seem to have gotten stuck on the transgender aspect. I wonder why that is, although no one really cares if you don't understand queer theory. Even the people who get into it seem to think it's bullshit... in fact, if I read Foucault correctly, that's a basic requirement.)

I read stuff like the first batch of comments and getting the feeling "damned if you do and damned if you don't."

Some trans people get offended when we ask questions to better understand gender identity issues and then get offended if we don't get it. How are we supposed to get it if we don't talk to one another?

As a Black man, I don't expect non-Black people to just understand what it means to be Black. As a gay man, I don't expect non-gay men to just understand what it means to be gay. And, I don't feel it a burden when people ask me about being either of those things.

It took me a long time to understand what being gay means and I am gay. So, I don't expect non-gay people to automatically know what I think and feel.

Similarly, I am guessing that many trans people do a lot of thinking and soul searching in order to understand their gender identity and how they wish to express it. So, why would any expect people seeking to better understand trans issues not to ask questions?

My way of thinking is that it is better to ask questions that to just do something stupid.

Whose responsibility is it?

Everyone's.

It's the responsibility of people who don't know much about Trans* issues to find out. And it's the responsibility of Trans* people to tell others that they don't know too much, and to help provide that information.

I've commented about cis-privilege. But one thing that bothers me about my own privilege, being white, Australian and middle-class, is to be told by American Blacks "Oh, you can't understand how privileged you are".

Maybe I can, if I try hard enough, and listen to what they say. Maybe not fully understand, but I might gain an inkling.

Bil, you've done your bit. I hope I haven't come across as too arrogant in my own fulminations about "cis-privilege" and all that. Yes, it's real, and yes, those who are not Trans* are not initially aware of it. But it's not complicated, and I really think cis-people can understand, or at least get the gist.

They haven't experienced it themselves, any more than I've experienced what it must be like to be a WOC in the USA. But I read TransGriot, and I listen, and maybe I'm not an entirely clue-free zone as the result.

Monica's done an excellent job of edjumacating me on that. Did she have to? Or should I have done it on my own bat? I really don't see how I could, I don't even know what questions to ask. I'm glad she helped me, and grateful too. Maybe I should do a bit more of the same, out of a sense of balance.

In the ultimate, as long as it gets done, exact mechanisms don't matter. We should cut each other some slack. And not sweat the small stuff.

Speaking for myself and from my experiences with other T's,lgb and cisgendered people I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to feel we should or are required to answer questions about being T.There are certain times and formats where I think it is the right thing to do and others where it can result in serious injury or death.Then there are questions that are appropriate and others that are down right insensitive.As for the feminist and queer part of the original post I think those would be better adressed in individual posts.

Bil, Alex and Michael, I don't think that I have gotten upset whenever people ask for more education in trans issues. I have taken on that hundreds or times, in front of various university classes in two states. I have also educated many others over the years as well. It is one of the things you pretty much take for granted that you have to do if you spend any time as an activist.

What upsets me is someone like Barney Frank saying we haven't educated legislators, when he could help us with that as well if he cared. He doesn't care, so he blames us. Karl Rove would be proud. If he cared, he would give us names of legislators to consentrate on.

HRC is equally to blame in this area, when we have heard over and over and over again that when they visit legislators, they never say anything about us. YET, their mission statement says they suppose to advocate4 for us. Bullshit. They, too, refuse to give us names so we can focus our efforts on specifically legislators.

Bil, you have a popular blog and it is your particular form of communication, information and education. Why would you need a book or another web site when you have all of us to present to you and others thing you may not know a lot about? If people get upset, then they may not be a long-time activist who understands this is what we do.

I have a question for you, Bil. I have heard of some trans people accuse you of being transphobic at times. Can you honestly say that you have overcome or eliminated ALL the transphobia you may have had in the past . . . assuming you can honestly say you had any in the past? Honest?

I don't have anything that I want to add other than to say that I love Jo's comment. Reading that was a real "click" moment for me.

I don't actually mind having to do some education, I just want to be treated as a normal person. I really do quite enjoy the chance to talk someone who is really interested in understanding through what it is to be transsexual.

What I don't like is to have to justify my right to exist as a woman and fighting common prejudices such as transsexuals are "just men who like to wear skirts". As a society, we should be so far beyond that that I get angry and deeply disappointed when I come across this, especially in the supposedly educated feminist and LGB circles.

The fact that you're asking questions, Bil, is just what I love to hear. You're not transsexual, so why should you understand us, but just the fact that you're open to understanding is the most important step.

Thanks, Bil! :)

I saw the comments and thought they were a bit off the mark in this particular instances -- though I understand where they're coming from (more about that in a second).

As with a lot things, the intent and the spirit of the question, and the context in which it's asked, make a huge difference -- as Alex touched on in his first post. You came across as being genuinely interested in learning more. Unfortunately, you're feeling some of the frustration having to deal with folks like Barney Frank, certain rad-fems, clueless heteros, etc.

But by not distinguishing between people who are genuinely interested in learn more, but don't know where to start, and those who expect to be spoon-fed, we end up alienating potential allies. FWIW, I've seen the same sort of reaction on feminist blogs where men show wanting to be allies and get told to "go do their homework" first. Making people feel they're damned if they do and damned if they don't isn't a good way to make friends and influence people.

It's true that there are a number resources out there -- but what the "insiders" forgot is that while these resource may be obvious to those in the know, they're not necessarily obvious to outsiders. For example, sure I could use my Google-fu if I wanted to learn about the lives of the Alaskan on the island where you can see Russia or Iraqi refugees in the States, and I could certainly find some info. Would be accurate info, would it be info that members of these two groups felt was relevant? Maybe. But more likely maybe not.

Anyway, why some of the pushback? I don't presume to speak for Lisa or the other the Question Transphobia commenters, but here my take on it:

- Explanation fatigue. Trans people, feminists, etc. often do explain the basics over and over and over and over, and you just get tired of doing it. It's not that different than a dynamic I've seen in two decades of being in online forums and mailing list, where the old-timers get impatient with newbies after a particular topic gets discussed again for the n-th time. As Alex mentioned, it's feeling like having to explain something that's absolutely elementary -- but that's where everyone needs to take a step back and realize that if it were obvious, the genuine questioner wouldn't be asking.

- "I just want to know" trolling. Folks like Lisa have spent a fair amount of time in circles where trans people seem expected to justify themselves and their existence. Often that sort of dismissive challenging gets framed in "innocent" questions. Or even if it's not malicious, it's questions posed by people who seem clueless about the willful ignorance and/or privilege behind their line of questions. Much in the way, heteros, white people, rich people, etc. can be oblivious to their privilege -- and get defensive when it's pointed out.

- Frustrations at accusations that trans people, feminists, [insert group here] etc. "haven't done enough education." Usually made by people who don't really want to understand -- Barney Frank, Andrew Sullivan, John Aravosis, yeah I'm talking to you. (Often accompanied by an unwillingness to own their own shit, e.g. I don't bash trans people, I just want them excluded from ENDA, the LGB LG movement, and think they're just icky. but that doesn't mean I'm transphobic.)

So it can be easy to assume the worse when someone asks questions. Which is precisely what we need to guard against doing, since treating people that way can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Speaking as an M2F transgender/androgyne/whatever the heck it is that I am, I happened to have been born white male so I carry that privilege too. A lifetime of learning to identify that privilege doesn't guarantee that I have shed every last vestige of it in myself. But I'm working on it. It's a lifetime process. Same for ridding myself of internalized transphobia. None of us are immune.

I've written and submitted guest blogs at TBP because of the truly diverse community here and willingness to learn that I sense among fellow participants. And I continue to participate as a reader because I'm learning a lot from everyone here.

Yes, there are plenty of books you could read if you want. I doubt that all of us transfolks could agree on which ones though. I also believe that one of the strengths of TBP is engaging in dialog with each other as friends and compatriots in changing the world to be a better place for all of us. So feel free to ask questions, I'm here and willing to answer.

I am going to be evil and invalidate the life experiences of thousands of men and women.

I think the comments mentioned in the posting are over-reacting to an ally's genuine request for help, and are contributing to the difficulties we all face.

all of us. Not merely trans. Not merely of color. Not merely gay or lesbian or bisexual.

All of us.

They do bring up good points. How does Bil feel about educating someone regarding being gay?

Me, I don't mind doing it. I mind when others who don't like to do so -- for whatever reason -- are told they *must* or they *have to*.

I will not always be agreed with. I do not favor many things which are popular in the internals of the trans community, and I use methods that sorta capitalize on my ability to take privileges of all sorts and use them in my efforts.

The responsibility rests with those who will take up the mantle of doing so.

Transpeople bear the burden because they are *not* privileged. There is no right to privilege and intimate understanding of a group that's not only not uniform, but far more diverse a letter than any of the other three.

If one doesn't educate, then thee will be no change. IT is up to the persecuted to make it visible, and making it visible is education. Otherwise, they are silent, and nothing changes.

Cisfolk do not do research because *they do not know the questions to ask*. What is transgender?

Seriously. There's a simple definition of it, but that definition covers so many things that within one moment, one can get overloaded.

The education is not necessary to justify the civil rights protections. That question is filled with privilege all by itself.

The education is needed to make the violations of civil rights visible. Until is is seen, no one will know it is there.

It is always better to ask. A great way of asking starts with "do you mind if...".

If the answer is yes, they mind, then find someone else. Who will.

That doesn't mean that one should not do their own due diligence. For example, Bil, you have enough information already to start asking google a few questions. TO read wikipedia, and follow the links.

On another site, I spend far too much time countering lies.

Lies about LGBT people, in all manner shape and form. Personal and as discrete groups or a whole.

The question to ask comes down to "why lie?"

Seriously. The truth can be really damaging to the movement. There are enough ugly truths out there to stop us cold.

SO why the lies?

Well, occam's razor: they don't *know* the truth.

They don't know anything about us.

The same applies within our own worlds. We don't know enough about each other. So there are myths and lies within our own community.

Hell, a good third of the projectors here on this very site have bought into the framing of our fight *by the other side* instead of reframing it from our own.

So all of us need to do more self education. All of us need to do our own digging around.

Is it demeaning? Depends on the person. I'm evidence of that, by myself.

Do I knock myself out banging my head against a wall?

yep.

But instead of cursing the wall, I get up and keep doing it. And in doing so, I've knocked down a lot of walls.

Okay, as for me, I like talking to people about what it has beant for me to be trans and what I know of the greater trans experience, which isn't all that much. I think that personal, direct education goes beyond the droll academic books and the "Hey, look at me!!!" autobiographies to give a real sense of who a trans person is. Dialogue, back and forth, agreements and arguments, and the planting of the seeds of understanding in each-other's heads. Ask away, some people will give you a walloping for your cis-bourne ignorance, but how the hell else are you supposed to get beyond it? Those comments of "go educate yourself" are understandable, and a part of the problem as well.

So, I would encourage you to start local. Talk to some local trans folk and listen to their stories. You're going to get a lot of horror stories along with a healthy(?) dose of bitterness and some paranoia, self-pity, and unvented anger. Decades of living in your own version of a POW camp will do that to a person. But you will also find strength, determination, intelligence, love, and, sometimes, bliss.

Working at Borders gave me more than just a window into future poverty, I got to meet a ton of trans people from Andrea James to my favourite transman about town whose name shall be kept secret. Drag queens and kings, CDs, TVs, genderqueers, mtf, ftm, intersexed transfolk, androgynes, the whole spectrum waltzed or tiptoed through the book stacks. We're legion, so find one of us willing to talk about things, and then find another. All of us experience this life differently, and all share common threads. It's finding those commonalities athat allows us to understand the differences on a personal level.

I don't believe that those with privilege have to be humbled and humiliated before they can be educated. You're gay, you know what it feels like to be in a minority group with diminished rights and a dominant culture that marginalises you (despite your white maleness), you might be able to empathise with the female and trans experiences eventhough you will never "know what it's like" to be a woman or trans. Anybody who keeps beating that horse of "you can't understand" is not looking for allies. Walk away from that scene.

As for gaining a feminist perspective, the same advice hods true, you just have to listen to and observe the women and world around you. It's easy to forget the cultures of those around us. I don't see male culture much any more, something for which I am grateful, but it also isolates me and I have lost perspective there. I have no sense of African-, Asian-, Native-, Chilean-, & etc.- American cultures in Indiana, but I can see how they are portrayed in the local media, or not protrayed, and I can keep my circle of friends open to accept whomever may stumble along into it. Through them, and their perspectives, I increase my own.

So read a little for blogs and books are only background, static information, and occasionally look over the laptop monitor at the people in the café. Engage your fellow life forms, and find the answers you're looking for.

Okay, this is rambling and kind of repetitive, but I have a 3yo , so you'll have to excuse.

As an aside, who gets to call themselves a cis-transgendered person.

BTW, Father Tony's observation that:

The reaction you are getting especially at the blog cited above is an avalanche of hatred and mockery of your "innocence" which is being seen as the dilettantism of your gay male power and privilege.

I think has some truth to it. In a variety of contexts I've seen "grass is greener" thinking by members of "second class" groups toward those they see as privileged. Which in turn can drive envy and resentment that gets expressed in this sort of angry.

I'm definitely not implying privilege doesn't exist. Rather that that it gets idealized -- much like Eddie Murphy's SNL skit, "White Like Me," where white people give each other free stuff and have wild parties on the bus when black people aren't around. The problem in talking about privilege this way is that it rarely resonates with the experiences of those who are indeed privileged.* It's true privilege is "the wind at your back that you don't even feel" so that often hard for people to discern, let alone own their privilege. But such idealized pictures of privilege are often at with how people experience their lives -- and over-hyping makes it easy for them to (wrongly) dismiss any idea that they might be privileged.

* For example, I've heard from several trans men who had previously been lesbian separatists, that there was a huge disconnect between the lives they're now leading as men and what they thought it would be like. Yes, they most definitely gained privilege, but there were trade-offs and costs that they're never imagined. Nora Vincent experienced similar feelings during her 18-months posing as man, documented in her flawed-but-well-worth-reading book, "Self-Made Man."

Just so we're clear, I was not quoting Father Tony, but a commenter on Father Tony's blog.

Everyone got that? No getting bad opinions of Father Tony anyone... It wasn't him. :)

Before tackling the question, I think it pays to remember the frustration of having to explain yourself to your family, friends, co-workers (especially for transsexuals who transition in place and have a very visible and apparent process on a stage in front of everyone), and then seeing a whole bunch of prejudices and assumptions trump everything that you've just said, anyway. It's tiring, repetitive, and sometimes feels just pointless.

When we talk about whose responsibility, we're not just talking about doing the dirty work and telling people. There's a responsibility to listen and absorb the information, a responsibility to respect (which should be in place before a word even needs to be spoken), a responsibility to seek out more and varied information, and a responsibility to be patient (usually on the part of the transwoman or transman, because short explanations don't usually account for the whole diversity of the community, so there are bound to be some points of confusion). The latter is what I'd say needs to be in place when it comes to allies who don't grok absolutely everything but just honestly want clarification.

I don't believe that everyone has a requirement to be "out." We earn the right to stealth if we want it (although it doesn't always work out that way).

That said, I do think that there is some responsibility for the community as a whole to get our stories and accurate information out there. If we don't, you can be sure that misinformation will propagate like stink.

One thing I forgot to mention is that for every person we do tell our stories to, there are many more who will hear it. I can't remember how many people have come back to me and said that they told their friend(s) about me, or about this trans person they know after trans people came up in a conversation. And when I kind of wince and ask what they said or how it was received, the response was almost universally positive.

It gets back to that planting a seed thing. The more people who are touched in a positive way, the farther into oblivion falls the Jerry Springer image of us. That's why I get so upset when I see smart young women who refuse to call themselves feminists though their beliefs are feminist in nature. Limpbaugh and the religious reich have succeeded in turning the collective definition of feminist into a slur. If I hear "I'm not a feminazi or anything..." as an excuse to drop the feminist identity, I'm going to swap Rush's Viagra with nitroglycerine.

Bil,
I get so tired of having education thrown up in my face. I have heard it for the last 42 years and been doing education that long at Universities, Colleges, High Shools and everywhere I have gone in that time and it always sounds like the same thing to me since about 1994. It's a stall for granting equal rights to transgender people by elitist GLB people who are just to lazy to look it up in Google or reae about it on a zillion websites.

The aficionado of this lament is Barney Frank and every other congressional offcie that throws our education material in the cicular file after we have left fromt heir offices.

What I want to know is how many classes are being given on Gay 101 or Lesbian 101 or Bisexual 101? I have never heard of a gay man going to a singular lesbian meeting to explain gay issues and the exact same thing happening with lesbians going to gay men's meetings, etc.

And please, don't tell me that the issues are all the same for gays, lesbians and bisexuals. That is just silly and anyone who has been out in the GLBT community for more than a nanosecond or reads GLBT publications, articles, blogs or participates in any exclusive Yahoo group knows full well that there was never, and still is, no gay group devoted to educating lesbians and visa versa.

Personally, I'm done with it. In this day and age of communications and the internet, people can find out anything they want to. And that is the key. Do they want to? So far it is obvious that many do not want to or even care to find out about transgender issues.

This leaves people like myself and other Trans activists, having to put on our "vice principle" hats and tell people to do their homework, which makes us sound angry. The fact is that we have every right to be angry about lazy people who put on a facade of caring, but don't go to Trans support group meetings or take the time to sit and talk and ask questions based on what they have already read. Instead all we hear is the constant drone of "more education please".

Every GLB person out there should understand by now, if it is Barny Frank that is asking to be educted more, then you know it is another polticial play to divert attention from the real issue of equal rights for Transgender people. At least I can give more credit to the intelligence of GLB people than Frank can.

It's very simple. To be able to express your own gender and live freely to do so, allows some people, like Transgender people, to experience a sense of ecstasy and joy. The main purpose of living is to experience as many moments of ecstasy and joy in a person's life as possible, before they die. Just like every other human being.

So there you have it! You are now educated about what our main issue is. Other people do not allow us the freedom to express our own gender, based soley by what we have between our legs and what a doctor told our parents what we appear to be when we were born.

Now that your educated, can you give us a hand at getting our equal rights? Is it to hard for some GLB people to understand that we all suffer from homophobia and that we have to fight it together?
You know, when my father was fighting in WWII to stop the Nazis and he landed in France, he didn't have to know how to speak French before they joined forces to beat the enemy. I guess sometimes you don't have to know all the details, when you have a common enemy.

Speaking of defending yourself, Bil, which you just said you don't need, you've just got to say that you were a POW.

I hear that works just fine and no one can criticize you after that.

Just a few days ago Gina wrote about an survey that asked for all women to participate in a research study, but it was worded in a way that specifically excluded trans women and ONLY trans women and reminded my strongly of Michfests "womyn born womyn" policy. The message seemed clear to me, trans women are not "real women". Many of the comments questioned why we would object to our exclusion and some even seemed to say "It seems like a reasonable policy to me, what's all the fuss about?".

Marriage equality advocate say that same sex families are "real families" and that exluding them from marrying is unjust. And it's true, they ARE "real families" and it is unjust. I'm sure most here agree.

When trans women insist that we ARE "real women" in abstract conversations there are many who agree with us. But when we are singled out for exclusion from women's places/activities/whatever, much of that support evaporates, even among our "allies". The attitude seems to be "if you want my support to affirm your basic humanity and rights, you'll first have to justify your existance to my satisfaction".

A common attitude among people is that if they don't understand something then it must be invalid. Trans people are constantly (constantly!) being questioned about our feelings and motivations for transitioning and our explanations are most often discarded in favour of pre-existing views and stereotypes.

To me this is the heart of the matter. Our identities simply aren't believed as valid by most people, including LGBs. I ask trans people out there, how many times have you explained your feelings and motivations to others that you know, such heart-felt and thorough stories that you were completely sure that they understood, that they "got it"? Only to be later disappointed by words and/or attitudes coming from them?

What I ask is this:

After listening to our explanations and our experiences, even if what we'd said leaves you completely befuddled and scratching your head, please, please acknowledge that we are still fully human, fully equal. That we DO deserve basic rights and protections from harassment and discrimination (ie: policies that exclude us, and ONLY us), even if you don't understand us.

Is understanding really required to recognize someone elses humanity?

I haven't thoroughly read all the comments here, but felt I'd give a little more background on the comment of mine that Bil quoted in his post, especially with regard to the comment from Father Tony's pad.

I am not angry with Bil, nor am I hateful, rude or attacking him. I genuinely feel his questions are well intentioned, but I do think he needs to alter his paradigm somewhat. We are not saying that we (those of us who have commented) refuse to answer questions about our transgender/transsexual status and lives. Rather, we're stating that it's unfair and unreasonable to expect trans persons to educate the ignorant on trans issues. If you're interested in equality, which includes all people, then you don't start out requiring explanations of why someone deserves the rights that you enjoy. In my opinion, anyway, the basic assumption is that all people have the same rights, yet they're not being recognized for some.

When you put yourself in the position that the burden of education and convincing of the privileged falls on the oppressed, you are part of the problem, not the solution. Again, I don't feel that Bil is mean-spirited, and I think he genuinely wants to know more on this subject. He's just gone about it the wrong way.

Bil, why not use many of the resources on the Internet to build your fundamental knowledge of transgender and transsexual people?. Using that knowledge as a starting point, you can then move to asking specific, detailed questions to better help you be effective in pursuing equality for everyone. Then we don't all have to waste time on the trans 101 stuff and can get right to the point.

Hopefully that explains my position a little better.

This thread has been fascinating and I might as well throw in my own two cents worth.

I will be the first to admit that I have a lot more to learn about transgender people. Fortunately I have had the opportunity to get to know a number of transgender people both in person and have also had several as guests on my John Selig Outspoken podcast.

From my discussions with transgender people and my own observations the fight for transgender equality is a good 10 years or more behind the fight for LGB equality. The good news is that positive movement is going on even though it feels frustratingly slow. Personally I was extremely proud of the LGBT community for getting solidly behind an inclusive ENDA bill. With the exception of the HRC our community was united in the necessity that it be LGBT and not LGB. Let's face it, how often is our community united on anything? I mean there are a bunch of Log Cabin Republicans endorsing and will be voting for McCain and Palin. I am so disgusted with the HRC over ENDA as well as some other issues that they have lost my support as long as Joe Solmonese remains at the helm.

With all of the above being said, any minority, any oppressed group makes progress by coming out and sharing their stories. Coming out is far more than telling somebody what or who you are but letting them get to know you and get to walk a mile in your moccasins so to speak. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to tell my story about coming out at the age of 37 after being married for 13 years, about raising my son as an out gay dad.

I have gotten tons of questions from all sorts of people, many of the the same but some different. Some questions have been insightful and some have been absurd. But I have always looked upon the opportunity to share my story, whether in person, in print or via electronic media as a tremendous opportunity to change minds. I love the questions because that means that people want to learn that they are interested enough in the subject to have open minds and learn. One opens minds one person at a time.

Being transgender is a concept that hasn't hit the radar of so much of our society. Most know L & G folks and some B folks. but few have gotten to know transgender people. Even in our own community we see drag queens in the bars or at parades and take them as being actors in a role. but few of us have really taken the time to really get to know transgender people on a one on one basis. So transgender issues are not front and center for many of us.

I know there is a temptation to want people to do their own research. It shouldn't be my job to educate them, is an understandable thought. However, reality is that they are not facing the discrimination, I am, you are, we are. So it is my self-interest to do everything in my power (and your and ours) to come out, tell my story and to educate people. They don't need the education. They are just fine the way they are. They aren't felling the prejudice that I face, that you face, that we face. So if somebody has an open mind and expresses some willingness to learn, grab onto the opportunity. After you share your story, what you face, the hate, the misunderstanding, the inability to get or keep work, etc. then they will get to know you as a human being and hopefully they will have an "A Ha"