But you can hold hands in public. Squeeze your partner(s). The act has no significance to anyone else but you and them.

Example A: you're out and you walk down the street, holding the hand of your buddy.

Example B: you're not out and you walk down the street, holding the hands of your buddy.

The difference: out. The general public usually doesn't know or care. Will someone have a problem if I put a liplock on my partner out in a public venue? Should they have a problem, out or not out, it is their problem and not my problem.

You own your own emotions, and letting others (with the side note of the sense that you're out-- or not) means you're dependent on the emotions of others. Co-dependency is another name for this.

Only a narcissist thinks that others aren't affected by what they do. I'm not suggesting becoming one. Instead, letting one's sexuality or orientation get in the way of expressing affection for another is living in fear. That's not being in the closet; that's living with imposed guilt. You is, or you ain't. Live accordingly.

For myself, as mentioned, I'm not a banner boy for rainbow whatever. I understand and appreciate the struggle to get acceptance for non-str8, even non-monogamous relationships. But I can't let my life be dictated by whether some random stranger walking down the street knows if I'm queer or not. I am; that's my business. Those that need to know, know. For others, there are no rainbow stickers on my car, no HR pins on my suits, no cute thong lines on my butt, and no other indicators that I might be any particular persuasion, even politically. Inside, I know what and who I am, as do my friends. So be it. Being out implies defense, or even defense by affrontive character. I'm not that. I'm not trying to persuade anybody to do anything.