Bil Browning

The process of coming out

Filed By Bil Browning | October 12, 2008 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, The Movement
Tags: coming out in high school, coming out of the closet, gay kids, growing up, National Coming Out Day

Coming out is a process. It's a general growth that we drift toward as versus a well-defined goal marker usually. Or at least it was for me.

  • I came out in Kindergarten when I wrapped duct tape around my wrists and spun around in circles in the front yard doing my best Linda Carter impression and wearing nothing but Wonderwoman underoos I'd stolen from the neighbor girl's clothesline.
  • I came out in first grade when I played with the girls instead of the boys and gave my best friend, Julie, plastic jewelry for Christmas but insisted on wearing it too.
  • I came out in second grade when the teacher tried to teach me how to "walk right" instead of "bouncy like a girl."
  • I came out in third grade when I refused to be in the class production of Swiss Family Robinson because I couldn't play the mother.
  • I came out in fourth grade when I played "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" with the neighbor boy and liked what I saw.
  • I came out in fifth grade when I realized that men and women had sex not just to make a baby, but because they enjoyed it.
  • I came out in sixth grade when I got the crap beat out of me by four jocks.
  • I came out in seventh grade when I wouldn't shower with the boys after gym class.
  • I came out in eighth grade when I let a neighbor girl give me a handjob but freaked out after I came for the first time and thought she'd given me penis cancer.
  • I came out in ninth grade when I stayed friends with the girls and didn't start wanting to date them.
  • I came out in tenth grade when I started having sex with other teenage boys.
  • I came out my junior year when mom caught me in bed with my "best friend" and threw me out of her house and I became homeless for the first time.
  • I came out my senior year of high school when I dyed my hair blond, started wearing activist t-shirts and did my senior thesis on gay rights.
  • I came out in college when I went to Houston to protest the Republican National Convention's AIDS-phobia and homophobia.
  • And I come out today each time someone asks me what I do for a living and I say, "I run one of the largest LGBTQ blogs in the nation."

What about you? Do you still find yourself coming out regularly? What was your process?


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This is off topic -

But can you do anything about the yes on 8 ad that appears on the upper right hand corner of this blog?

It has been there for days.

Patrick,

I can't see the ad since I'm not in California! That's horrible. Please do me a favor. Click the ad the next time it shows up and give me the URL it takes you to. I can ban that URL from advertising on the site. We don't want that ad here!

(A screenshot of the ad would be helpful too. You can send that to me via e-mail if you're able to grab one.)

Bil

It takes me to http://www.protectmarriage.com/, if OP and I are talking about the same ad.

The site itself is a good laugh and a terrific scare at the same time.

without the comma. Sorry about that.

It's a Google ad space. They allow various ads to run that have targeted keywords that match our site. ProtectMarriage.com bought ads for the keyword "gay." Bah.

They should be gone now, but it might take a day or so to work out of the system. Thanks for pointing it out. Google doesn't tell you who they accept ads from on your behalf and since I don't live in CA I never saw them. (Instead I get NGLTF in Miami, gay jewelry and some resort!)

I was surprised to learn that it was so regional, but when I was in France the ads were in French.

Now they're just for Meijer.

Brynn Craffey Brynn Craffey | October 12, 2008 11:25 PM

THAT explains why I saw the same link on Crooks & Liars, too!

I wrote their site managers and asked for an explanation; haven't heard back yet. I told them I was going to blog about it, depending on their answer.

I thought Google was a progressive company! Are they obligated to accept the ads?!

I'm angry about this.

No, Bryan, Google is an "equal opportunity" money taker --- they'd accept ad money from Hitler if he were still alive. Not to get down on you, but have you noticed that Google is the most highly-capitalized company on NASDAQ? They didn't get that way by turning down money.

And unfortunately at this stage of the game, if you're going to boycott Google, you might as well cancel your Internet line. Good Luck.

But no one's commented on the substance here!

My god, Bil Browning, we probably would have been good friends in elementary school. We could have walked like girls down the hallway together. :)

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | October 12, 2008 10:50 PM

"Not that there is anything wrong with that" but what about us poor deprived geeks reading our Superman magazines (imagining a just world) while juggling our GI Joe action figures rather than making war with them? :)

Just cause its of interest to me:

Gender variance in childhood is a strong precursor for homosexuality, bisexuality, and transsexuality.

What you described, Bill, is almost the same as a transperson's experience, until you get into high school.

I came out the first time I had sex. I was 18, at night, in a field, and a baseball game was going on nearby.

I said to myself: "this is it? Ugh. This sucks."

Didn't stop though, dang it...

"I came out in Kindergarten when I wrapped duct tape around my wrists and spun around in circles in the front yard doing my best Linda Carter impression and wearing nothing but Wonderwoman underoos I'd stolen from the neighbor girl's clothesline."

That is too fucking funny, Bil! That totally paints a picture.

"I came out in eighth grade when I let a neighbor girl give me a handjob but freaked out after I came for the first time and thought she'd given me penis cancer."

OMG! That's reason enough to have comprehensive sex ed. in school.

"I came out my senior year of high school when I *died* my hair blond,... "

I hope that wasn't a Freudian slip.

When I was in college, we changed the lyrics of Paul Simon's song to, "Still Coming Out After All These Years".

The horrible die job did fry my hair. True. :)

Thanks for the correction; I'll fix it now.

Yeah, Rory, I agree. I sure wish YouTube had been up and running back then so we could all watch Little Bil spinning in his Underoos. (Ow, that sounded dirty!)

I came out in the eighth grade when I did office-girl drag for Halloween. And to think I could have been getting a handjob from the neighbor girl; I didn't even catch on that I had been put quietly into the slow learners' class.

"I sure wish YouTube had been up and running back then so we could all watch Little Bil spinning in his Underoos."

Well, they weren't exactly *his* Underoos! ;-) (I'm fairly certain that I've never written the word "Underoos" before now)