What with the stock market plummeting to a certain death, the shrieking voices of the campaigns averring that the heat death of the universe will occur should their candidates not be elected, and opponents of marriage equality suggesting that federal marshals will soon be providing a protective escort for porn stars into the California elementary schools, I would like to suggest that Bilerico.com has been neglecting a much more important topic that is sure to be on everyone's mind at this critical juncture: lesbian jugglers.
(Check out the sexy video after the jump)
In fact, I would go so far as to assert that now, more than ever before, it is time for everyone to consider having a lesbian juggler. I have one, and I would like to say that there is much to be learned even from the experience of breakfast with a lesbian juggler. The uncertainty of wondering how long it will be before the fruit bowl and its contents are circling the room concentrates the mind wonderfully on the here and now. No longer do I dawdle over my food. I have lost fifty pounds in the last year, and it is no wonder why: I have been married during that time to a lesbian juggler.
On Thursday, my lesbian juggler, Shayna the Entertaina, performed at Comix, a New York City nightclub in the book promotion party for Holy Headshot: A Celebration of America's Undiscovered Talent (Simon & Schuster) and I secretly filmed this shameless entertainment. Take a look and tell me that our beloved United States of America would not be better off if a lesbian juggler were to become our next vice-president.
(Plus, isn't she too cute for words? I hope you're as lucky in finding your lesbian juggler.)