John McCain must be a very knowledgeable guy.
After all, over the course of three Presidential debates he's told us that he knows how to:
- get Osama Bin Laden;
- fix the economy;
- create jobs;
- save billions of dollars;
- eliminate programs;
- heal the wounds of war.
Of course, the trick is that in order to tap McCain's vast fountain of knowledge, we have to elect
him first (despite the fact that he's already a public servant in his role as a U.S. Senator). No, these secrets are his and his alone, and he'll only share if we make nice with him. It makes you wonder what other secrets McCain might be privy to.
In turns out that John McCain is a cornucopia of information,, and there is a meme going on at Twitter in which more of McCain's secret nuggets of knowledge have been revealed. Below are just some examples.
John McCain knows:
- how babies are made;
- where your lost socks go... and how to hunt them down;
- how to blink, blink, blink;
- the way to San Jose;
- what newspapers Sarah Palin reads;
- what love is and he wants to show you;
- where the sun don't shine;
- the 11 herbs and spices in the Colonel's secret recipe;
- how many shakes before it's considered playing with it;
- fifty ways to leave your lover;
- first-hand what really happened to the dinosaurs;
- the difference between "this one" and "that one";
- how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood;
- how to divide by zero;
- who switched your regular morning coffee with Folgers Crystals;
- Angela Lansbury's private number for booty calls;
- ka-ra- TAY;
- if the light in your refrigerator really goes off when you close the door;
- who wrote the book of love;
- the muffin man;
- kegel exercises;
- that dinner is served at 4:30 and bedtime is 7:00;
- who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop and who put the dip in the dip-de-dip-de-dip;
- what "the gay agenda" is;
- that the Hanoi Hilton does not leave fresh mints on their pillowcases;
- how to kiss Dave Letterman's ass;
- what evil lurks in the hearts of men;
- that knowing is half the battle.
So what else does John McCain know? Please share in the comments!
(Special thanks to the many users of Twitter who helped come up with this list.)