Sara Whitman

Save The Children

Filed By Sara Whitman | October 24, 2008 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Marriage Equality, Politics, The Movement
Tags: California marriage equality, child care, education policy, lesbian moms, LGBT families, LGBT issues, lgbt rights

I've had enough.

I'm tired of being treated like some freak that needs to be carefully sidestepped at every election as if supporting my marriage is touching the third rail. I'm tired of the rhetoric that "gay marriage" will be taught in classrooms across the land and small children will be exposed to sexuality in inappropriate ways if equality is given to all.

The children, oh, please, save the children.

The newest ploy in California to take away equal rights is to use Massachusetts, my home state, as an example of all that will go wrong. Children will be "forced" to learn about gay families.

They may even be exposed to a book, "King and King," that on one page shows two men kissing.

Oh, the horror. I have to admit, any time my kids' see my wife and I give each other a peck, they do shriek in disgust. The same way all kids do when they see their parents express affection.

What makes me the angriest is not the stones they are throwing at me- bring it on- but the effect it has on my kids. My kids aren't gay. They have gay parents. Should their teacher have to send out a permission form every time one of my kids mentions his parents? If they draw a picture of their family, does it require parental notification?

Is that what we want in our schools? A lock down on anything different?

The people so concerned with the "children" are clearly not concerned with mine at all. While it's fine for my son's fifth grade teacher to come in and share pictures and stories about her heterosexual marriage ceremony, it's suddenly all about sexual behavior when a lesbian or gay man does it.

I will admit, all my kids did, in fact, talk about our wedding at school. It was historic, it was about social change and you know what they discussed? The chocolate fountain at the reception. The giant bouquets of hostess Twinkies, ho ho's and cupcakes.

They are kids. They have lives they want to share with their friends. Why should they be singled out for different treatment because of who their parents are? Can you even imagine anyone recommending doing this to kids of interracial marriages?

Proposition 8 supporters are running ads with little children asking their heterosexual parents about men with men, and women with women. Funny thing is, with all those heterosexual teachers at school, some parading around with pregnant bellies, and I have never once had my kids ask about heterosexual sex practices.

Nor do they come home and ask, Mommy? Can a man and woman get married? And it's not solely because kids are awash in 24/7 media images of men and women together, often sexually, but because they don't really care.

They care about their worlds. Soccer games. Playdates. Chocolate fountains.

And so what if kids do come home and ask about gay families? If you're really such a bigot, just spew out all the hateful things you have to say about homosexuality. See it as a teachable moment.

Son, if you grow up to be gay, we'll disown you, the church will shun you and in fact, you'll burn in hell. Now go do your homework.

I'm tired of being treated like some leper that will infect children with horrible values simply by being acknowledged. I've got news for those folks- I'm a parent, first and foremost. I'm also a wife, a writer, a neighbor, a friend, a colleague, and a pretty damn good cook. I coach my son's soccer team, I fold laundry and I make my kids brush their teeth. I volunteer at the school on occasion even though on top of it all, I'm a big ol' lesbian.

The kids don't care. They just want someone to help tie their shoes, or pick out a library book.

Save the children? Don't believe it for a second. They only want to save a hateful way of seeing the world through very narrow eyes.


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S Brian Walters | October 24, 2008 11:46 AM

Can you teach my husband to fold laundry. ;)

Claire Jennifer | October 24, 2008 12:32 PM

Dear Sara, We know you are not a freak. I have a girl friend, here in California, who is a Catholic school teacher. Her 8th grade students are allowed to display yes-on-8 stickers on their work binders, for all to see, because the Catholic church (dogma) says yes-on-8. Any student displaying a no-on-8 sticker has to remove it - for it is against the Catholic churches belief.

These 8th grade students are apparently being educated by their parents that same sex marriage is an abomination, ((Leviticus 20:13)). Abomination is the word being used by the students themselves. I did not add it for effect.

By the 8th grade most of these students do not really understand their own sexuality yet, but I fear for their future. I am not aware of the statistics, but I am pretty sure that some of these students may grow up to find they are gay or lesbian, (or maybe even Transgendered), and just think how they are going to feel when that happens, knowing that according to their families beliefs they will go straight to hell.

I hear what you are saying about your children, and I know this subject is not new. I just want to share my concern for all the other children, who themselves may become victims of this narrow minded-ness.

My friend who teaches civil rights, social justice and equality for all fears for her job, because she is not being a good Catholic girl.

I too am incredibly depressed by all this mis-information.

Remember, the freaks are those poor individuals who are narrow minded. It is them I feel sorry for because they must lead such horrible lives, especially here in California, where they must be surrounded by enlightened people all the time.

I don't have kids, but if I did, I would want them to see, at any opportunity possible, examples of people in close, loving relationships, no matter who those people might be.

Two people, in love with each other, and willing to commit their lives to each other, is a wonderful thing, and should not be hidden from kids, ever.

The Reichers are just afraid of the possibility that a whole generation of Americans will grow up healthy and opn-minded. The horror!

They always blame it on the poooor children when in actuality it's them who's uncomfortable and not the children...

Once again the kids are going to have to educate the poooooor adults who refuse to see the hypocrisy of all this as they yell and scream at each other in their loving, caring hetero marriages. What the F*** are these people afraid of? Is it just us, and is this too trite to even say, but would they really rather have their kids see people in movies, TV, print media killing each other? We have a brother (and in-law) who doesn't want his boys seeing 'that stuff', i.e openly gay, well, anything. The mistake we make is thinking this behavior is rational, and trying to 'fix' it. If ignorance is bliss, how come most people aren't deliriously happy?
No, NO, No on Prop 8.