Bil Browning

18 things you can only say on Thanksgiving

Filed By Bil Browning | November 24, 2008 2:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: funny jokes, funny lists

A friend sent this funny list of things you can only say on Thanksgiving. I thought I'd use it for today's open thread question. What else can you only say on Thanksgiving? I know how clever Projectors are, so I'm looking forward to the responses.

  1. Talk about a huge breast!
  2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
  3. It's Cool Whip time!
  4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
  5. That's one terrific spread!
  6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
  7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
  8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
  9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
  10. Don't play with your meat.

Rest after the jump.

  1. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
  2. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
  3. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
  4. You still have a little bit on your chin.
  5. How long will it take after you stick it in?
  6. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
  7. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
  8. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

So who's got the other two quips to bring us up to an even 20 things you can't say?


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How did you do it? Did you use a turkey baster??

Truthfully, I've always prefered dark meat.

"Turkey won't be ready for another hour and a half or so. Care for a Fighting Cock on the rocks?"

"Folks, we couldn't stuff the turkey with enough dressing for everybody, so we have these dressing balls right over here."

"Here it comes, the piece de resistance: DUCK!"

'Give me a sec while I squirt cream on this pie."

"Oh, here comes Annie with the turkey gravy. Looks like she got some on her."

"Haven't you finished stripping those potatoes yet?"

"Oh, I love that popcorn stuffing. It's neat how it blows the ass off the turkey"

I would be happy with just the leftovers!

  • "Oh, a real favorite of mine! Sausage stuffing!"
  • "Can you give me a few minutes? I want to be sure it's all emptied out in there before you try stuffing all that in ..."
  • "You're great! You pulled it out just at the right time!"