Serena Freewomyn

Election Night Drinking Games

Filed By Serena Freewomyn | November 03, 2008 6:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment
Tags: 2008 Election, alcohol, beer pong, boat races, election campaigns, Election Night, president

During the 2000 election, I made a terrible mistake. I didn't have any booze or weed in the house. And it was the worst night I have ever had! In my defense, however, it was my first time voting. How was I supposed to know what kind of torture it would be?

I was prepped for the 2004 election. Plenty of beer, and plenty of Percocet... just in case. Praise Jesus for that!

Anyhoo, I hit the Costco this weekend and I'm stocked up on the booze for tomorrow night. I'm hoping for the best and plan to use the booze to celebrate. But just in case things don't go our way, the beer and Hennessy can console my depression. And in honor of all things presidential, I've compiled a list of drinking games to help us ring in the next administration.

Be sure to tell us about your favorite drinking game in the comments section!

Chug-a-Lug

As you watch the election results with your friends, take a chug every time one of the following words/phrases is used: going rogue, change, hope, country first, and maverick.

In keeping with the election theme, you could also take a shot for every electoral vote your favorite candidate garners.

Asshole

One of my favorite card games. This game requires a minimum of 5 people to play. You're guaranteed to get smashed with this one.

The first hand of asshole is the establishing hand. This will decide who is the President, Veep, Normal People, and the Asshole for the next round.

7 cards are dealt to each player. Deuces beat aces. Someone is chosen to go first and they play a card, the next person has two options:

1. to play a card higher than (but not the same) as the previous card.
2. or to pass on that turn.

For example, if a 4 is lead, a next player must play HIGHER than a 4, the the next player has to play higher than that. A new hand starts when all players pass, or when someone plays a 2 (the most powerful card). The last person to play a card leads the next hand.

This proceeds until all the players are rid of their cards. The first player out of cards is the President for the next round, the next out becomes the Veep, the next players out are normal, and the last person out is the Asshole.

However, let's say that the person leading has two 5's. This person may play them both, then the next player must play two of the same card HIGHER than five; this player cannot play one card or three cards, only two. As well, three, or even four, of the same card may be lead. The only time a player may lay one card in a situation like this is if it is a two (the power card); a single two beats everything, and the hand ends followed by a new lead.

Here are the roles for each player:

President:
The President can make any player drink at any time, but no one may make the President drink except themselves. The President is the first player to start each round (benefits of power). And the President should never have to refill their own beer.

Vice President:
The Veep can make any player drink at any time (except the President), the only the President or the Veep can make the Veep drink. The VP goes second in each round.

Normal People:
These players can make each other drink, as well as the Asshole. They play in the order they finished the previous round; first normal out follows the VP, second normal out follows first, etc.

Asshole:
For many reasons, this player is truly the Asshole. This player has to deal all the cards, sweep all of the cards after the hands, and they cannot make any other player drink. The asshole plays last in each round.

A few recommendations: At the end of each round, the players should move seats in order to reflect the hierarchy and proper playing order, because drunk people shouldn't be trusted to remember what's what. Play your lowest cards first. Abuse the power when President or VP, but remember it will always come back to haunt you, especially when abusing the Asshole.

Beer Pong

(I just so happen to be an undefeated champ at this game!)

Just like ping-pong, this can be played either in singles or doubles. Supplies: players, beer, and a ping-pong table (or make your own but laying a door or some other piece of wood across a dresser or some other stable surface).

Each player fills a cup with beer and places it one paddle-width from the end of the table, in the center (or a paddle-width from the side for doubles). Hitting your opponent's cup earns you a point and requires the opponent to sip. If you get the ball in your opponent's cup, you are awarded 5 points and the opponent must drink whatever remains in the cup.

No player may touch the ball prior to it hitting the table or a cup; if the ball hits a cup before hitting the table, it remains in play even after a single bounce on the table. A player may attempt to save a point after the ball hits a cup by returning it (provided, of course, the ball has bounced no more than one time). Multiple hits count only as a single point (exception: a ball hitting a cup and then bouncing inside the cup, or inside the partner's cup, counts as a 5-point inside-the-cup "poofer").

A number of house rules are common - knocking a cup over is grounds for a penalty chug (but no points); balls may not be "auto-returned" via a fortuitous bounce off the cup, etc. The trajectories of the volleys should be high arcs, to keep things civilized (and to maximize your chance at a poofer).

Boat Races

Have everybody divide up into two even teams. Each team lines up opposite each other, preferably down a long table, or just sitting on the ground. Fill each glass full of beer and place it on the table in front of each player. The players cannot touch their glass before they are allowed. The first players on each team start the game by drinking all of their beer and setting the glass back on the table. When the glass touches the table the second person drinks his beer and sets his glass on the table. This continues until the last beer is gone. The first team to place their last empty glass on the table wins. Wins what, you may ask? Nothing.

Happy drinking ya'll. And just remember... designate a driver before getting smashed tomorrow night!


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This is informative. I so wish I was watching the election chez Serena.

But I'm seriously going to need a drink tomorrow night. I need to be sure to stock up. Nothing says "I'm ready for 4 more years of Republican rule" like a Jack and coke.

Alex, I think Asshole could easily be modified to fit the election theme. The Pres could be changed to Obama, Veep to Biden, normal people stays the same, and Asshole is McCain.

Haha!

And all the normal people get to be Sarah Palin, because she's just an average hockey mom, Jane Sixpack, Real American.

Because if John McCain happens to win, I'd better be drunk when it happens.

In 2000, I sat the entire night in the basement apartment I leased at the time, in front of my 1972 model RCA color tv. A 1.75 liter bottle of no-name vodka, a bucket of ice, and a gallon of OJ was also there. I was crashed in my recliner, twisting and turning with Dan Rather and the State of Insanity known as Florida. My aunt had warned me about the hanging chad problem earlier that day, she voted in Palm Beach County, and had to get a second ballot because the chads wouldn't pop out right and because of the confusing layout, so I was not surprised. I have been PO'd ever since, unfortunately. I do wish pancreatic cancer on Bush and his henchpeople for all they've done to our country since 2000.

This year, I'm set. Same RCA TV (if not broke, don't fix) with 2 screw antenna mount and splitter - no cable box to go awry. Dan Rather's gone, but Olbermann and Maddow will do. No vodka - but I do have some Powers' Gold 12 yr old Irish whiskey (you'd be welcome here, Brynn) and some Appleton Estate 12 yr. old rum and diet Coke. I don't do drinking games. It ain't no game. I expect to be drunk either way. I expect that we will have much to celebrate. I also feel sorry for Barack Obama, because he and the Congressional candidates who come in with him will have a lot of fixin' to do to repair the damage of the last 8 years.

Serena,
This is all well and good, but we have a lot of alcoholics in the LGBT community who are doing what they can to fight this issue. I'm not one, but I am highly supportive to those who are. I'm sure this article maybe offensive to them. Sorry, but someone had to bring this up.

Monica, I see your point of view, and I don't disagree. But I also don't see why some people's alcoholism precludes other people from drinking.

No, it doesn't. It wasn't what I meant to portray. I was just bringing it up. I hope you have fun tonight, from one pink state to another.

We're purple, actually. If you can believe it! I'm in the process of making cupcakes for the revolution. It's gonna be a long night!

LOL, we've got our own game going on at my house tonight, here are the rules we're playing by: http://oregonjon.wordpress.com/

Jaime, thanks for sharing. You're way more creative than I am! Good stuff!