Way to say it, Serena!!

And Lawrence King, to my knowledge, didn't identify as trans. He got killed because he didn't conform to traditional standards of masculinity. But that doesn't mean he was trans.

Well, to be fair, Lawrence King was one of the names on our "official" TDoR list, so including him in a video commemorating the TDoR is understandable.

Amen! You really understand, Serena!

As far as Lawrence King, he called himself "Leticia" at times, which is one reason he's included on "official" TDrR lists -- although I for one made sure to point out that he -- and we -- never got the chance to find out whether he was a budding trans woman or budding femmy gay man, or whatever King would've turned out to be.

More to the point, in addition to it's other actions on ENDA, HRC actually penalized the seven Congress critters who voted against ENDA because they wanted the more inclusive version brought to a vote. And they've shown themselves to be utterly unrepentant about it all during the past year, even with their non-apology "apologies."

It would be one thing if HRC was putting out the video to try to make amends -- and maybe they genuinely think they're do so. But, to build on Donna Rose's apt summation, they've got to be willing to talk with us -- not their usual talking down to us -- before they can even think about talking for us.

Instead of just standing around and loudly proclaiming "Fuck HRC!" I'd like to take this to a positive point.

I doubt any of us actually think that HRC's Communications person sat around thinking, "How can I co-opt the trans community on behalf of my employer?" I doubt the Director of Comm did that either. Or the VP really.

I'm going to guess that the VP was probably thinking, "We have a problem with trans issues and need to look as trans-positive as possible.", but that the communications workers are just, well, trans friendly and trying to be helpful. I'm thinking they are doing what they can (after all, they don't get to SET the message - those type of corporate directions come from the board) to be as trans-friendly as possible.

After all, not every single person at HRC is an asshole on trans issues. That's too broad of a brush; even a couple of trans folk have stepped into the breach to fight on trans folk's behalf again. (I know how long that battle's been going on, I'm just honoring any with the spirit to continue that needed fight after so many others have been exhausted.) There are HRC staffers that want to help.

So if we stop and think that they actually intended something good instead of just an evil reverse psychology of "Make a video telling Americans to help trans people so we can hurt trans people," the crux of the brouhaha seems to be this: Trans people would rather that HRC remain silent on all trans issues.

This seems short-sighted and cutting off your nose to spite your face. They haven't done a good job advocating for trans rights, granted. But isn't this a case of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend"? I mean, America is an ally Kuwait. We think a lot of their government and way of life sucks, but that doesn't stop us from working together where we can.

And secondly, what can HRC do to help? If you have staffers that want to help the entire LGBT community and "get it," what can they do? If they try to help with items like this video, they get slammed. How do they advance the cause in favor of trans rights when anything they do is criticized so heavily?

The Legislative agenda is dead.

During the campaign they told us that DADT would come first, if I remember correctly.

Well, friends, that is slated for 2010.
Which would put Hate Crimes and EDNA in 2011 or 2012, which won't happen because the re-election campaign will have begun.

It will be "Wait ti; after the election and we expand the Democratic Majority" all over again.

In the meantime, President Obama WILL be expanding the Faith Based Initiative funding of our enemies with LGBT tax dollars, paid at a higher rate than straights because those same organisations getting our monies block our rights.

Plus, with the popular uprising of LGBT's going on, the HRC is by and large irrevelant, at least for now, unless we are foolish enough to surrender the movement to their leadership again.

I, for one, am not.

The uprising is our one shot, the Stonewall of our time, and it needs to be about everything that we deseerve, complete equality and full citizenship for all LGBTs. Everybody goes on THIS ride, no compromise, no incrementalism. We disrupt tim it is too coslty for them to continue to oppose us.

What does this have to do with Trans-Remembrance?
If we win, the Day of Remembrance will be about the fallen of years past, not the past year.

Thanks Serena for posting Kit Yan's amazing video response! HRC has a lot of work to do to ever regain our trust. Earlier this year I received a telemarketing call from them, I told them in no uncertain terms why I would not donate to them. My limited contribution dollars go directly to trans community and organizations.

The more I read about Lawrence King, the more angry I became that majority of media reports said only that he was gay. Larry was also gender variant, sadly though, we won't ever get to know exactly how he might have identified, trans, genderqueer or whatever else.

I've been thinking how to approach this a couple days.

Serena -- thank you for being there tonight. If you hadn't worn a cap I might not have recognized you, but I chickened out at the last sec and just said Hi as I walked by.

Bil, I said the bulk of the sentiments you see expressed here today when you put this video up. Previously.

I'd like to point some things out. FIrst, GLAAD's didn't put out a trans only video. And they didn't crap.

Think about that for a sec.

Now, The HRC video was absolutely cool. By any measure, it is one of the best videos made for the concept overall.

But, as usual, the HRC didn't get it right. They used old names, when the event is about the last year. There were 31 this year, Bil.

That's one thing that peeves us.

They use it to speak to hate crimes. It shouldn't be used that way. They use to call for donations. It shouldn't be used that way.

It serves one purpose and one purpose only. To make people aware that each one of us is pretty much 500 other people -- each one of us is 50 LG people.

That's the impact of it. In the trans community, we have 4 degrees of separation. At most. Usually 3.

Thats how heavy each of these weighs on our minds.

And that video does a disservice because, yet again, it is the transworld *from outside*. IT was set up and designed to be palatable.

It was like a prop 8 ad that had no gay people in it.

Transfolk can't be handled that way.

So you know, most transfolks *do* think the HRC sat around thining "ok, how can I co-opt the trans community on behalf of HRC".

Literally. We think that because the HRC has proven that it will do that. Time and time again.

We *also* think the VP is thinking "we have a problem with trans issues." The rest was already addressed in Tobi's outstanding response.

You are right -- not every person at the HRC is that way. There are certainly staffers willing to help.

IT doesn't matter.

The organization as a whole has, for the most part, screwed us over. In everything they do. We are *secondary*. An afterthought.

And we are tired of it.

I'm certain they made the video with the best intentions. Really, I am. I just, after all this time, suspect that their intentions are never in *our* best interests.

They don't want to hurt us, mind you. Once they get LGB protections in place, they will have to have a reason to exist. We are going to become that reason. Because that's all they will have left.

But they don't want to deal with us, Bil. We do not play well in Peoria. We fail focus group tests.

Transgender, Bil, means gay, lesbian, bisexual, and straight. It means men and women, and that which lies in between. It means the people that are called faggot first. The people who are shot in cars. The people who are hookers and prostitutes (something even our own activists all too often shy away from). It means the people who have AIDS now.

You once described your childhood in terms of gender roles. What you described is almost word for word what every MtF has ever said.

Word for word, Bil.

when I came out, I told a friend of mine, who really liked me. His reaction was immediate and visceral: "why do you wanna be a freak and cut your dick off?".

He was gay, Bil. Of the first 30 people I came out to, one of whom was my wife, he was the only negative reaction.

He showed up at the Phoenix TDoR tonight, and he gets it now.

IT is not that we want them to be silent. Saying that is akin to saying "I'll take my ball and go home".

what we want is action. concrete, visible, purposeful, intense action.

We want them to give our single greatest need the same amount of effort they give to marriage. Because we dying faster than the GLB community is, and there's a hell of a lot fewer of us.

Think for a moment, Bil. When was the last time that you, personally, felt a physical threat to your existence in an encounter with another person? When was the lat time someone called you faggot and then threw a bottle at you?

I've got a couple girls at the halfway house who have had that happen to them every day in the last 7.

They aren't called trannies, Bil. They are called faggots.

They are straight, too.

When the cops did their raid of the "gay bars" in New York City, they didn't go to the places that the then in power groups went to. Those bars no one knew because everyone seemed so "normal".

They went to the transgender bars. The places where the flamers and wild ones were. The places where the monsters were.

We get all the nastiest crap targeted at you. Because we are visible when you are not. You alone no one would think was gay, right? Well, we aren't that lucky.

We want them to say "Its time for an inclusive ENDA *now*". We want them to get it introduced in the next session and push it through for that first 100 days.

We want them to say "Barney Frank -- retract that bathroom statement". We want them to help fund state and city level protections. We want them to make the score card portions for trans inclusion *equal* in importance (scoring wise) to LGB portions. We want them to work on the ADA stuff. TO stand up and score health care providers with emphasis on transtreatment and care. We want them to ensure we get decent housing and treatment in prison. We want them to mae the fact that as a white gay man you have twenty times the risk of being killed walking out your front door than I do.

The single biggest thing they could do to win back Trans support is get inclusive ENDA passed. And, really, it should be the first and single most important thing they do. Now.

They don't ask us for money. They don't talk about how great it is going to be. They just get it done.

As I said, right now, Bil, they are Fred Phelps to us. They are Focus on the Family, or the AFA. They are every person who voted for Prop 8.

They are our enemy.

What would it take for you to start trusting any of those groups? Seriously, think about it for a moment, because if you look at what our reaction is to the HRC, its that same reaction we have to any of them.

What makes it worse is they say they are working for us when they do it. They say they are being nice to us when we ripped out of a bill.

You know more about us than they do, Bil. Ask them what the ADA would do for us if the provision barring us was removed.

That's due this next session, Bil. That's actually doable. Like, now.

I said it before: it takes 10 things to make up for every bad one. And they've don a lot of bad ones. They are already removed from the mainstream of the LGBT community as a whole -- they have ZERO knowledge of us or our issues.

Half the transfolk on this board have said they would be more than willing to speak with the HRC. What did we get? AN offer to do it during the largest Trans gathering int he world. Its like trying to hold a meeting during gay days on Key West.

*d''oh*

If they could get through an ADA and an ENDA within the next 2 years, I'm willing to bet they'd have at least two thirds the trans community behind them. with cash (since we'll actually, you know, have some).

DO you know who Reed Erickson was, Bil? Any clue what that man did to enable the stuff the HRC stands on to exist? Look him up. Please.

He was transsexual.

Shannon Minter, one hell of a lawyer -- this guy argued and won the case for marriage in California.

He is a transsexual.

Lynn Conway, who created the ideas of instruction sets and some of the most critical architectures that enable Bilerico to exist. She is a Transsexual.

The President of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association is a woman I was hugging a short while ago: Dr. Becky Allison.

yep.

What do they need to do? They need to find out who we are and what we want, and then go and do it.

Not decide for us.

They need to stop lying to us.

That's what they need to do, and why we are sick and tired of their trite little dumb stuff. Its time for them to come to us, hat in hand, and ask what they can do for us. Because we've tried it that way on our side and look where it got us.

How do we go past the anger?

Well let's see...

Some of the things that could be done;

Stop trying to make the TDOR a feelgood "Trans Awareness Day".

Don't arrange a HRC Orientation "fun and laid-back occasion" that directly clashes with TDOR observations. Like they did in Dallas/Ft Worth, Houston, and other places, only a few days ago.

From the Transgender Job bank:

Please note that I’ve concluded that the overwhelming majority of corporations that have been contacted by The Transgender Job Bank who are on the CEI 100% inclusive list are NOT inclusive and that I believe that the Human Rights Campaign organization is deceiving the public by representing that the problem of transgender workplace discrimination is not as prevalent as it truly is.

A Straight - or rather, Gay - answer to whether a trans-exclusive ENDA is acceptable or not would be good.

You see Bil, the problem is not just past wounds: it's that they keep on stabbing us. It's a bit difficult putting the past aside when every day brings yet another HRC "mis-step".

In some ways the HRC is in a "no-win" situation. No-one believes they act in good faith. There's too many examples of their continuing bad faith - or more charitably, crass insensitivity and intransigent ignorance. Every slight, however tiny, is seen as a calculated insult, because so many of them could not be reasonably interpreted as anything other than that.

What most Trans* people would like is for the HRC to drop the pretense of being Trans-inclusive. They're not. They may intend to be, they may want to be, but they're either treacherous or incompetent, not to mince words.

If they can't help, just get out of the way, and leave it to other groups. Don't sabotage them, as has been done in the past. Don't say the HRC speaks for Trans* people when it so patently doesn't.

Then maybe we can start talking about how to co-operate now the mendacity is removed. Remember, fully one third of Trans* people are also Gay or Lesbian, the HRC's cause is our cause in many ways too. But ours is not theirs, and to pretend that it is just causes further resentment.