People who can access this on DVD get to see more of Robert Eads in the extras section.

Personally, I liked the 'Southern Comfort' with Powers Booth and that Carradine kid(don't recall which, but not David) better, but hey, I am an action movie kind of girl. Robert's story is just too depressing.

Back when I started transition, I was given a copy of that, Normal, and some other things. this was back at a time when you could still get me to watch things on trans issues. Now a days, well most of it is too depressing because, hey, I have lived it, I don't need to be reminded about what a raw deal many transgrrls get in this life.

Day of Rememberence, sorry I am almost out of Effexor and do not have the money for more, if I want to get depressed and kill myself, I will just give in to my Bi-Polar. For me, avoidance is a mental health issue.

And just for informations sake Eric, I like being called Elle, Ms, or Ma'am. Calling someone by what they are, rather than who just seems rude to me.

Otherwise I am a post-operative transwoman. Anything else might get you hexed.

Eric, I don't think it's a cop out to say that trans folks should speak for themselves. I think much of the controversy here on the site about the HRC's TDOR videos shows that this is exactly what the trans community expects - to speak for themselves.

The problem isn't "speaking out".....it's those who do don't acknowledge those who disagree with them. But what do I know?....I'm the anti-trans.

Eric and Serena,I may be a contrarian, but I welcome allies who speak on our behalf -- and realistically that you and others may situations where you need to do so anyway. (Much as I'm asked occasionally to answer questions about gay/lesbian cultures.)

That said, there's a big difference between speaking for someone else and speaking on behalf of them.

The latter implies being upfront that you're speaking about someone else's experiences and that you may have imperfect and incomplete knowledge about them. But I think one can still make a good faith effort at explaining -- much in the way you've outlined Eric -- but I also think it's OK to relate what you've been told or heard from trans people.

The key is speaking on other's behalf with humility and deference.

The absence is part of what has a number of trans people livid about HRC's TDOR. That is was probably done more out of oblivious rather than malice doesn't really matter. The other issue driving the anger is obviously HRC's track record. I'm sure people would've been as upset had it come from another LGBT organization -- although there still would've been annoyance if the video had been produced without any input from the trans communities (just as I'm sure gays and lesbians would be annoyed if the situation were reversed.)

FWIW, as far as the "what do trans people prefer to be called question," here's a few suggestions from my outreach speaking engagements. I find it can be useful to talk about descriptions first and then mention labels later. E.g. along the trans spectrum there are people who primarily feel body dysphoria, some whose discomfort is more around the social aspects of gender, and some who feel both. Some people feel the needs to live full-time as another gender, some people would like to be can't due to circumstances and some people find that part-time satisfies their needs.

Once you get to labels, one can talk the more commonly used ones -- as well as ones that there's general agreement to avoid -- but point out that there's different POVs within the trans communities (e.g. just as gays and lesbians have different POVs about "queer') and that these labels are evolving. So that it's also best to ask a particular person what they'd like to be called.

Lena,
Great Post! I can not talk about other T- People's thoughts, Only my own! Today I went to Staples to buy some suplies. I know big Deal! I was dressed in my male mode. Why does that matter? Because out of 5 people that talked to me and had conversations with me, 4 called me Mame, Lady or other female pronouns! I was in Heaven!!!!! I hate being called SIR! A little old lady and I had a 10 min conversation about a computer device I happen to have. She went to her husband and and said to Him " That nice lady over there has one of these, and she uses it in her business. She said It works good and she likes it! Lets buy It!" a 25 min shopping visit to Staples changed my mood from OMG Monday, Its raining, Bad mood into - Wow, Its not raining much, the sun is coming out! What a Nice day!

I would never dare to tell anyone what a Gay person feels, acts, or defines themselves as, it is not my place! I can not speak for anyone else, only me!

Do I have Gay friends?
Yep! I also have straight friends!

Do I think same sex marriages should be legal?
Yes! Absolutely! No Question!

Do I think HRC represents T-people?
NO! They should not say they are at all!
HRC does not understand how bad their own history of treating T-People as a third or worse class of people is so blatant and offensive!

The best label that almost everyone likes is "FRIEND" said with a smile in your voice! You do not have to mess around with Pronouns that your unsure of!

Thanks for your post. I like: I'm Transsexual and my name is "Robin". How are you and how do you live? That's as far into the controversy I'm willing to go, to busy transitioning.