Sara Whitman

Redefined Marriage? Grow Up

Filed By Sara Whitman | November 17, 2008 6:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality, The Movement
Tags: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gay marriage, LDS, marriage equality, Mormon, redefine marriage, same-sex marriage

Ugh. My least favorite Mormon in all the world is getting under my skin. A woman- who will remain nameless- is complaining.

Homosexuals are going to redefine her marriage.

How? I can't even imagine how my being married in MA for the last five years- legally, we've been together much longer but with no rights- has had any effect on her in NY. Did her wedding ring turn green? Because if it did it might be from all that preaching and forgetting about the lack of piety in her early years.

I mean, she did enough to hurt her own marriage. Don't go pointing fingers at me. And there is that little thing about living in glass houses...

Did her husband go limp? Go buy some Viagra. That's not about my marriage, that's about age. Sorry, it happens. Well, not to me, mind you.

How? I don't get it. But she gets to redefine my marriage. That's okie dokie.

Her son, a brilliant young man who is a Mormon, too, has claimed that Mormons only make up 2% of California's population and clearly, we should be looking at the Blacks and Latinos.

Love that. Pass the buck.

Oddly, the "NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Mexican-American Legal Defense Fund, Asian Pacific American Legal Center and two other groups asked the state Supreme Court on Friday to issue a stay preventing the ballot initiative approved by voters last week from taking effect.

The petition is the fourth seeking to have the measure invalidated. But it's the first to argue that the court should step in because the gay marriage ban sets a constitutional precedent that could be used to undermine the rights of racial minorities."

I guess they don't agree. And neither do I. He called for rational discussion. That's nice but when you've stripped me of my rights? I'm not calm. I'm angry. While I've called to stop marching on churches? I believe we should be taking to the streets, day in and day out.

He can be calm because no one is taking his rights away. No one is threatening his family. I love that on his CV he does not list his BA from BYU. Afraid of discrimination? Maybe no one really wants a lecture on moral development from a Mormon?

And there is the ultimate irony. I have always stuck up for the Mormons. I have known too many who were just run of the mill folks, no magic underwear, no grain in the basement and no polygamy.

Nice to know it was clearly a one way street.

It is wrong to vote on rights. You cannot give minorities different laws. It is a violation of the Constitution.

I don't want to throw mud. I just want my rights.

I don't want to be defined solely as "lesbian" any more than she wants to be defined only as "Mormon." We are both so many other things. I don't want my rights hinged on a single aspect of who I am, and I'm certain she doesn't either.

But here we are.

Seriously... redefined her marriage? Grow up. Look in the mirror. Nothing has changed. Stop trying to redefine mine.


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Sara, great post.

I was at a protest yesterday in front of the LDS church in Newport Beach, CA. At one point, a man and a boy, presumably his son, came out and paraded up and down the street in front of us with a sign that had the same 2% statistic you were thrown. I asked him, "What about the money? Your church was the largest contributor of money!"

He said, "The Catholics and Lutherans contributed, too. Go protest them."

I couldn't help but notice the irony--here I was, protesting at a church that paid to strip me of my rights, only to have a member of that church complain that I was treating him unfairly.

I have no arguments and there is nothing i could possibly add to this. Good post.

Speaking as an ostensibly straight married person, my wife and I have repeatedly contributed to efforts to legalize gay marriage. We agree strongly that no other people can devalue our marriage, that can only be achieved through our own behavior. If Mormons or other religious people wish to oppose gay marriage, they may refrain from entering into one themselves, or counsel others in their circle to not do so. They should not have the right to impose their will or morals on all others in society, and that, ultimately, is why civil rights should never be address by ballot referendum. After all, if you put equal rights by race on the ballot in Kentucky, or many other Southern states, that might also be repealed.